Thinking While High

I think a lot. I worry about a lot of things. I’m really not sure what I’ve been worrying about lately though to be honest with you. Or today I mean. Maybe I’m just so used to ups and downs in my life that when things are going ok, I get stressed.

I’m really confused about how I feel right now. I was stressed out at work because of the company president coming in and talking to me. But that was Saturday.

Today I was stressed out because… ? Not sure why. I had a whole day off in between to be not stressed. Why am I stressed?

Is that why I was angry when D and V couldn’t see why I was stressed?

I’m stressed because I have no hours to give work to anyone, and I have to pick up the slack and somehow revamp the department. I guess I can see how that would be perceived as confusing to someone else.

no, I don’t… I’m just pulling at strings… I’m allowed to be stressed out. Does it really seem ridiculous that i would be upset that other people seem confused and irritated that I’m stressed out?

Why is there no sympathy about how I’m feeling? Am I not allowed to be bothered by something?

All of this is because I’m not getting sympathy… that’s what this is boiling down to. Why do I need sympathy so badly?

interesting… I’m learning something about myself that I really don’t like. That other people are seeing that I’m not liking their responses. I’m so confused…

I don’t know what is being perceived, and it bothers me. I also don’t even know how to ask those people what their perception is because I think it would be strange…