oh god someone please help me

I feel so completely alone right now. And how pathetic is it that I’m writing this on the internet?
How do you really know if something is your fault? What if I’m just completely wrong? What if I’m really the crazy one?!
I don’t know what the fuck to do. I need some perspective. I can hear all the opinions I want but really… What do I do?!
I tried to communicate everything properly from the book I have and I didn’t even get anywhere with Rob at all. Nothing. But I’m the crazy one. I’m still lazy.
I feel terrible. He’s right that I haven’t done much lately around the house, but he’s completely unable to see that I’ve been working a lot, working in two departments, some really big chnages! Its not easy working in such a destructive environment, even if the store manager is on my side.
But Rob can’t, and won’t see that. He’s not very introspective or understanding.
I went through a period of eight months where he did NOTHING. He’s right I bring that up far too often.
A lot of the mess in the house is his. I really don’t have a lot. Its his tools, they’re all over the place.
This isn’t what I want. I didn’t sign up for this. I might not know exactly what I want, but its not to feel like this. I mean, I feel pretty shitty most of the time, but when I actually cry, I can really feel it coming out.
Is it really me? Am I really that difficult?! This is insane… I feel like a mental case…
There’s a big party going on outside, and I’m in here, laying in bed crying and writing on my online fucking diary. There’s got to be something wrong with me.
Its only going to illustrate to my landlords how crazy I really am if I don’t come out. I dunno, maybe I’ll just tell them I was tired.
Problem is, I know I would be just as much of a bitch to Rob if it were me that were unemployed and him that were too exhausted to clean.
I don’t know how much more I can handle this… But where do I go from here?