Upset

     There’s just no way around it. I had to end it with Security Guard. I can’t have him back. I want to talk to him but he’s too damn busy for me to even talk to him. The whole reason why this is ending is because he can’t make time for me.

     I just don’t know if I’ve made the right decision or not. He was so close to what I was looking for. I just don’t know. He’s such a nice guy, but he’s too damn busy to even make time for me. fuck, why does it have to be so hard?

     Do I really have the ability to be with someone that I’ll never see? I just don’t know! If this relationship progressed, what about kids…do I want to raise kids that don’t even know their father, because he’s a cop and he’s too into his job to spend time with them?

      I have so many thoughts running through my brain. I called him to talk about it some more and I couldn’t even talk to him then because there was someone on the other line and then his work phone rang…I do understand that he’s working right now, but he works three god damn jobs! Oh man…what to do?

     I can’t stop crying. This is the story of my life for cryin out loud…my parents don’t have time for me, Laz doesn’t, and my b/f…now my ex I guess you could say doesn’t either. *sigh* I don’t know what to do!!!