Ryan’s a dick and it’s over

     Well, I think that was a waste of four months. I really shouldn’t have given him that second chance…never make someone your priority when you are only their option.

     I had a talk with one of the guys I randomly made out with on new year’s. Weird, I know. But he’s on my msn, and I talk to him pretty regularly. Yesterday he started flirting with me. I told him that I was sort of seeing someone. Thus, the Ryan topic began. He told me that he didn’t know me, but he was willing to drive from Toronto all the way out to Lindsay just to have a drink with me. Told me I was better than that, etc. He thought I should end it with him, etc. I knew he was right.

    I guess what he said really got to my head becaues the next morning I woke up and I knew what I had to do. I was going to let him have his say…I hadn’t seen him for 2 weeks. HE visited me the first day then didn’t talk to me until 3 days later. I don’t deserve that. I was going to hear him out and unless he had something really great to say, that’s it. I wasn’t looking forward to it…

     Finally I got sick of waiting and figured, fuck it, it’s the end what difference does it make if I am the one to initiate the conversation? I told him that we needed to talk, told me he couldn’t make it over until 415 or something. But when he got here, I heard something that I really didn’t expect.

     While he was gone, there was another girl. Wouldn’t tell me her name. I said no, Ryan, you give me some answers right now, I deserve that. He got up, told me he was leaving. I said, "give me some answers!"

     Do you want to know what he said to me? "I don’t need to answer to anyone!" Then walked out. I still have his hat.

     He tried to tell me that the $20 bucks he gave me I used on lingerie. Bullshit. I yelled at him for that one. That’s not what happened! My grandmother sent me sixty bucks in the mail and i was in desperate need of a new bra!

     I just started talking to chapman, made sure he was there before I left the building. I went over to his house, on the way I ran into Smallz. I know he’s sick lately, he’s going back to Oshawa for a bit until  he’s better. HE gave me a ride. I just walked into chapman’s house and started bawling.

    I spent about an hour there, just cuddling. It means nothing, sometimes it’s just good to cuddle. Then I went back here and hung out with Dan for a bit. We have been flirting a little, I do’nt like him but he’s a cool guy, and he’s pretty hot I guess. I don’t think it would go anywhere, I was just glad to hang out with some ppl to keep me occupied. We watched a really funny movie about nascar it was good.It was called talladega nights the ballad of ricky bobby

    I’m back here with all my lovely roomates that I woke up to talking shit about me this morning. Isn’t that exciting? Gill should be back soon so I will be able to talk to her. Anywhoo…that’s whats new with me…