Hope

I wish I could turn back time to the happier moments and just freeze frame where I had the smile on my face and the love in my heart. Now life has changed and it feels like a distant memory of that time. I never know what to do to make me happen, different reactions and outcomes change my every thought. My mind is constantly changing because I want to make sure I don’t miss out on opportunties and chances. I just feel like one day I give up, there will be a chance waiting for me and I’ll miss it. I wanna take every risk and every chance I can get anymore. Yet I feel like I’m overwelming to some and I’m losing touch with alot of people. I feel like I’m digging a little hole for myself to roll up in. Never to return to the human life again, I feel like those stages of depressions are creeping up on me without notice. I feel like I have no one to talk to, because everyone is constantly changing and busy. All I do anymore is think, with all this free time I have, I fill it up with over analyzing situations and conversations I may have had already or could in the future. I just wish I could take a glimpse into my future and know there will be happiness for me one day. But since something like that is impossible I wait. I wait for a new day and hope that it will get better for myself. Where I don’t fall into that hole again, because everytime I fall in, it becomes harder and harder to get out.