Complicated

We learn best from situations that have gone wrong. I always tend to go the wrong way with any decesion that I make, I only knows from the result in making them. Yet I think sometimes it’s better to get some wrongs because you really learn from them rather than a perfect happy life. I guess I do envy those who have that, but I know, just one day, I myself will be able to pride myself in that joy as well. I have really thought alot of abit of everything actually and the past few days I have been feeling good. I know I have to deal with certain issues just I always pushed them aside for someone else and they just get worse. I’m gonna take care of them and if that means no relationships and maybe no hook-ups, I’m actually going to be fine with that. Life shouldn’t all about that anyways, should be about one’s own life and living it to the fullest. I tend to forget and thus making me double think everything and making a more complicated person. I always like to think of myself as simple but people don’t hear my every thought so that’s why no one has ever could understand me. Then I do try not let anyone really know me, because I’m an insecure person and I don’t want anyone to see my true self, although a few have shared a peek at it times before. I need to really focus on myself and my already wounded self. I need to be a stronger person and really understand myself. I think it will be good for myself to go through this all before I head into another doom relationship. My last three barely last a month, so I guess just only better for me to work on issues and hope the next one will be a success. I like to think I have alot to offer for someone, but gotta get rid of the demons that I have right now. In the end, it will be worth it. All this pain and all these challenges, make life more worthwhile and interesting when looking back. Because as much as they say, don’t look back, sometimes it’s okay to look back and realized how far you have come. Good-night