Hesitation

With so much going on anymore, I tend to forget the important things in my life, my friends. For a long while, I have allow myself to get hurt and to try my hardest, thinking he was the best thing for me. Yet everytime I hung out with him, I never felt good about myself and always felt crappy. Yet I continued, even lied to my friends and that’s the one thing I should never done. But here I am, knowing that because of you, I don’t have my friends, they are all mad because I was on your side, the dark side. I just wish I learned this sooner without hurting my friends. Yet I did and I was so stupid to doing that to them. It’s not fair to them at all, especially since they have been amazing through it all and helped me when I needed them. Now, I have nothing and it’s my fault. I gotta deal with it, it’s my problem. I’m done with him, it’s not right and I shouldn’t be in it any longer. I’m stupid to pick a guy over my friends. I don’t know why I did, because I only hurt the most important people in my life. I just wish they could understand how much I am sorry for doing that, especially for a guy that has only hurt me a dozen times. It was the worst thing I can do. I just hope they can forgive me. 🙁