Alive and kickin’

Written a week ago:

 

 Well, here I am. I haven’t written in a looooooonnnnng time! I’ve been SUPER busy with nursing school. Honestly, this is the busiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. I can say that with no amount of uncertainty. But… I guess that’s a good thing. I’ll be graduating nursing school in about a year and a half. 

 

Oh yeah, Amir’s home! (YAY). He’s been home for a few months, but I never did update this thing. lol   When he got back, he sent us on a surprise trip to Rome, Italy. It was amazing!! We did lots of site-seeing. Rome is beautiful. =]

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Written today:

 

 Amir bought a house here. Yes, here, of all places.

We’re here in the dessert. I forgot how much I hate not having trees or grass. The psychological effects of such a stark environment are subtle, but I now find myself wanting to be around green, wearing green a lot, loving St. Patrick’s day merchandise (lol). I even changed my google homepage to something with a lot of green in it. I just hate the fact that there isn’t that much green here. The other day I turned on the faucet outside in the back of the house and let it dribble onto the dirt. I knelt down and smelled the dirt. Amir managed to snap a picture of me because he thought it was cute. I was just trying to smell what wet dirt smelled like. Every fucking day here is sunny. I hate it. I know, who complains about sunny days? This chick! I want a little VARIETY in my days. How about a fucking CLOUD every once in a while? No wonder everything here is dead. There’s no occasional cloud-cover to keep things from dying/drying out under the relentless sun. 

Amir and I just got into an argument. We were out and about today and I asked for a couple of dollars so I could walk to get myself a bottled water from a vending machine. He got angry with me for that. He had just finished spending twenty dollars on a t-shirt for himself and twenty-five dollars on some cable that he wanted. Is it really that big of a deal to ask for two fucking dollars? 

Amir has PTSD. He gets mad at the stupidest shit in the world. Like me asking for money for water, for example. Amir’s PTSD is *reeeeeaaaalllllyyyy* annoying. And before you judge me for saying that, you have to realize that I’ve been dealing with his PTSD for the past 2 years. Walking on eggsheels and whatever. It gets old trying to cater to someone who will just blow up for no fucking reason. I feel like I have to watch what I say and how I say it ALL the fucking time. It’s so GD annoying you have no idea. 

And I hate this place. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know what to do anymore. He doesn’t help me clean up the house (and as I said before I’m SUPER busy with nursing school so I don’t have time to do EVERYTHING by myself). He doesn’t like to pay bills on time so a lot of them just fall by the wayside. And he absolutely HATES grocery shopping so we never go. The only decent place to get groceries (by "decent" I mean doesn’t cost you a fucking arm and a leg) is the commissary. Every other grocery store is ridiculously overpriced because… hey, we’re in the DESSERT and shit doesn’t grow here!! Period! I would LOVE to be able to go to the commissary by myself and go grocery shopping for us both, but as you all know (for fuck’s sake I’m gonna say it), WE AREN’T MARRIED YET. That’s right, folks! Not married!! Still!! After two year-long deployments and 3 and a half years of faithfully waiting, not even a fucking proposal. 

 

Anyway, I am so sick of being here I don’t know what to do. I fucking hate the dessert.

 

 

 

I hate it.