My story? Pg 5

Sometimes my dad couldn’t come get me. Broken leg, or money or truck broke down, whatever. And those times I stayed home on the weekend. Mom wasn’t willing to drive so I was stuck there. J had a son named jj, and Jj came over every other week I was gone and some other times as well. He was cool. A year older  maybe more. He was fun to play with. But one morning he wanted to play while everyone else was sleeping. Wanted to play docter. Wanted me to try things. Things you knew wernt OK to do. He would threaten to tell on me or kill my mom. And I was scared. I did what I was told. That started a long time of sexual abuse that lasted years. He would come over and try to get me to do things. Sometimes he would try to get me to do things with jr. But that was rare. On top of this I was struggling in school. And j beat me and abused me somewhat regularly. Any time I made my sister or brother mad they would make up a lie to get me in trouble. Sometimes I’d get hit. Sometimes I’d go to the corner and have to hold a weight strait out from my chest. He was creative on punishment. And I got punished frequently. Punishments came if I didn’t clean my room fast enough. He’d dump everything back out and make me start again after he hit me. And once. My brother stole a handful of tootsie rolls, they were my step dads. He was pissed. Pulled us aside and asked who did it. We both denied it. So we got spanked. He asked again and again, and we denied. I knew I didn’t do it. I tried telling him. But I was branded the liar since anytime jr and s wanted they could get me beaten. S wasn’t here for this. She was relaxing in her room. When J finally had enough he told us to get into our underwear and get into the shower. He sprayed us with cold water, Then hot. Alternating temperature.  He even filled a spray bottle with soap and sprayed it into my eyes. Had the chunks of soap we had to eat everytime we denied doing it. He was focusing on me, it was obvious, I was bawling, I was out of breathe, he kept spraying water and soapy water in my face. Telling me if I didn’t fess up he’d get the shock collars out.  Finally Jr said he wanted to talk to j Alone. Ended up fessing up for it. After probably an hour of what I would have called torture.  Jason finally let me get out. I went into my room, dried of and changed. I was in my bet warming up. I could hear Jason yelling, Jr told him he did it and said he just didn’t want to be punished anymore. He said it was me and lied. Gave a date and everything. So Jason  still thought it was me. But it was over. He left me alone. Probably felt a little guilty afterwards. And mom, who was standing next to him quiet the whole time tried to comfort me. That was the day I knew she wasn’t my mom anymore. Just a birth giver.