God Blessed My Broken Road (w/ a Little S&S)

WOWSERS!

Holy crap. Insane. Wonderful. Fantastical. Inspiring. Emotional. Repulsive. Impressive. Sad. Exciting. Liberating. Loving. Hateful. Sincere. Honest. Raw. Sexual. Arousing. Shameful.

These words and probably 50 more where they came from. I just spent the last 20 or so days reading my diary from beginning to end (intermittently of course, as one does need to work to survive) and I ran the gamut of emotions!

There were so many cringeworthy moments, and moments where I wanted to shake the old me and ask her to stand up right, be respectful, be kinder! Then there were other times I wanted to pat “The Rose” on the back and tell her ‘job well done, now that’s a mature, healthy, intelligent, and spirited attitude,’ and I get it. From beginning to end, I got it! Ones emotions can do some crazy things to them. I led with my heart for so many years. I still do. I would not change it for a single second, because in doing so…the broken road led me to my beautiful life with my beautiful wife. My Sunshine, known as LaLa in those entries towards the end before the shutdown.

“Wife and Wife, Best Friends for Life,” that’s how our minister introduced us to the crowd of 80+ people there to support our loving union. And what a beautiful, sentimental, authentic wedding it was! So many people told us so after the fact. So many hailed it as one of the best weddings they had ever been to and I attribute a lot of that to the love exuding from everyone present, and the love that was bouncing between the two of us. It was bouncing all around us, inside of us, from me to her and her to me. It was…as we both will say at different times, but for the same reasons…the best day of our lives. It took place almost three years ago now, and still I feel and hear its melodies like I would the lyrics and notes to my favorite love song. I sift through photos when I want to feel warm and fuzzy all over again..and reminded of how very lucky I am; how lucky we are.

…but…there is some sadness to this tale. At that wedding, some names my readers grew accustomed to reading about were not present, just as they are not present in my life today. Sometimes we open ourselves up to so much love, but at the expense of letting go too, in order to have room. In this new diary journey I will embark on, you won’t hear exciting tales of adventures I go on with: Shisty, Maddame, J, DramaBee (aka The Queen/Tsunami), Hostess, Mishko, and many others who were at one time friends…friends for years and years. You may occasionally come across an entry I write where I’ll talk about SillyGoose, P-Nut, Chubs, RiRi, and Giggles, but no longer with the fervor I felt for them as loving family members of mine. These are tales I will tell you in the entries to come, but I thought it was important to note the love loss and the love gain.

I’m incredibly excited to venture back in. This nostalgic trip I took has left me with jet-lag though, and I’m not ready to begin today. In any case, BigBootieCutie (that’s my wife’s current name in my phone, so I’m going with it. You see, we have this cute thing we do where we change our names in one another’s phones every so often. She’s been BBC for some time now. I might want to get on top of that – every pun intended HA!), is sick. We went on a fun date last night into the city to do something she and I (in our 6+ years together) have never done – comedy club.  Day after Valentines Day (where I spoiled her with lots of little things and we had a night in with lobster and seafood bake), I gave her some V-day scratch off’s I’d purchased. I’m usually the one to do those sweet little things like coupon books, love vouchers and in this case, romantic scratch off’s. So, the first one she scratched was a total bust. Each one has a What: Where: When: section to scratch. Her first one scratched told us: What – Your Choice, Where – Your Choice, and When – Valentines Day! HA…so now she had to wait an entire year to use it (if she even remembers to be honest). So a few days later, feeling in love with her, I gave her a new one. This time, it was: Comedy Club, Your Choice, Your Choice. So, we chose yesterday, Friday. We had a blast. We had gone (day after V-day) to see a taping of The Chew (her V-day gift to me in some way) and spent a fun-filled explorative day in the city: chinatown, west village, good times. At The Chew, they ate a burger from a placed called Flip & Toss burgers that turned the top bun over and made it a pizza on top of a burger. Yes. It was GOOD. In that same taping, Carla and Michael Simon had battled it out on stage at The New York Comedy Club. So we basically took all of the suggestions from that taping and created our date based on our romantic scratch off. This is how we roll.

With that I leave you. Gives you a little insight into the kind of marriage we have. As her vows said, “our love, ebbs and flows like the changing tides, but every day I will love you a little more, because come what may, I will love you til my dying day.” <–yes, we had watched Moulin Rouge the night we made our seating chart just a week before the wedding and she had been inspired by that and the fact that we met while doing community theater, singing and dancing.

Okay I’m out now. Gotta go get her some Soup and Sunny-D.

Much Love Always To Any New Readers,
The Care-taking Rose