Underneath My Skin

    I always let him get to me. Always. His words tunnel into my heart and poison it slowly, and never is it fully drained of said poison. His words are always in the back of my mind, and I can hear that voice of his cutting me down, and suddenly I feel worthless again. The one who used to call me beautiful every chance he got. The one who used to tell me how special and talented and loving I was, and now he calls me worthless and pathetic and weak. Each verbal blow sends me to my knees and it takes all my strength to crawl from the darkness into the light.
    His nonchalance cuts me just as deeply as any of his words. The absolute emotionless tone due to typed words on top of the phrase, "and what if I didn’t Amanda? What if i didn’t care?" sends me spiraling into absolute agony, the agony you can only experience by being hated by the one you loved the most. My ribs hurt and its painful to breathe in past the sobs and to find some sort of peace. I am drifting along.
    Do you get it now?

Amanda.