Which Friend Are You?

 Quote: "We are dealing with the best-educated generation in history. But they’ve got a brain dressed up with nowhere to go." -Timothy Leary

No one is on the same page anymore.

Being handed your college diploma is the equivalent of some omniscent person shouting "READY….SCATTER!"

Want to hang out this weekend? Can’t, working for the weekend. Tuesday night? Oh yeah, I forgot you have to be in early on Wednesday’s. 

I’ve spent months organizing a college reunion scheduled for this Saturday and it amazed me how hard its been. I don’t know if its the economy’s fault or if its because so few of friends (and myself) chose careers that don’t allow for one to start off with a regular 9-5 schedule, but its really tough to find the time to grab a beer with a friend. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got an abundance of free time, it’s just never at the same time as everyone else.

It’s been a weird year. I don’t know that I’ve made any great steps socially, aside from maybe figuring out what I don’t want. I’ve watched so many of my friends settle into relationships which immediately seem more legitimate since we’re in our twenties now. Maybe they will get married and whether that’s a terrible idea or not, it’s still in the realm of possibility. Aside from a few failed Ok Cupid dates, I’ve come up blank. I’m convinced its because I’m not supposed to be dating in my home town. My future isn’t in New Jersey so it almost seems pointless to attempt to find love in the present.

 I say that like my move to New York City is on the horizon. I mean, I guess it is in theory. I’ve received a raise, a major one. My jaw actually dropped when I saw all the zero’s. I’m showing my age and inexperience of course, because this salary is really just good for a recent graduate who’s just starting out. I had to put in almost a year of freelance work to earn it. But here I am, a real person with a salary, benefits and vacation time. I can reasonably be a person with an apartment in the very near future.

I just need a few friends to catch up. It’s not immediately necessary for me to move on my own yet, especially when I can save up some cash and live at home rent free for a few months. I’m happy with my role. I feel successful and it feels earned. I’m happy I’ve got a job in my field, a decent sum of money coming my way and a place in New York City that I will spend at the very least, forty hours of my week. 

I don’t mind struggling emotionally while prospering professionally. I may be met with eye rolls when discussing my most recent sexual encounter. I know that with every tryst, the line between friendship and more blur a bit. It’s even happening for me. When we’re talking in her bed I think "Why couldn’t this work?" Except it failed once before. I always forget why it ended until I’m back and it all becomes abundantly clear.

So I’m not the friend with a satisfying and loving relationship. I’m 23. I think I’d much rather be the friend who can take care of the bill at the end of the night. I’m getting closer and closer to getting it all together.