Yes, that’s right, I’m NOT dead…

Hello, hello and welcome to me. I haven’t written on here since 1762 mainly because I am lately recieving all the inspiration and get-up-and-go of a malnourished oyster. In a bag. This is not ideal. I will one day be able to fill your eye cavities with a variety of interesting words such as ossiary and penultimate once more, but currently the words bored and drunk would fill most of the word count on my entries…

I’m writing this particular missive for two reasons only. Number one is that Lianne was concerned that I had not written for some time and that nobody knows what I’m up to anymore… though this is probably for the best. Secondly, I’m doing it because work is so unremittingly dull that I’m skiving in the office so as to achieve a greater sense of meaning in my life. It isn’t working but it’s better than trying to build up the effort to look after only three children of a day…

Christmas was a jolly and seasonal affair which sees me equipped with £120 in clothage. the most bizzare fact about this is that most of my clothes are labelled with the name nike, McKenzie or Bench, so I can only assume that I have accidentally become a chav without realising. I’m currently thinking up ways of robbing old ladies. Except I’m not. at least, not as often as I used to… I also got a Homer Simpson corkscrew which is little short of erotic. New Years was ok, but not exactly a rollercoaster of passion and excitement.

I’m getting concerned now- this entry almost has coherent content! Most unlike me!

I think I need a large group of visitors so that I can drag myself into excessive and mildly effeminate party mode- I think the ‘sisters’ need to pay me a visit- it’s over to you Lianne…

What more to say…. hmmmmm…. nope I think I’ve finished apart from saying that if Carolyn is reading this please send me an e-mail as i’ve tried sending you approximately 19 million of the buggers and you seem to not be recieving them. That or i’ve annoyed you so hard that you are denying my existence… I will be online continously everyday for all next week so do all of you drop me a line and keep me company in the office- it’s dull at the top…

Anyway, that’s enough crap from me! Toddleoo!

Tom.

P.S. Clarity my dear, I would just like to say GET YOUR ASS BACK ONLINE AT UNNATURAL HOURS AGAIN AS NOBODY ELSE PUTS UP WITH MY BIZARRE MUSINGS… I love ya, you weird Aussie.