Goodbyeeeee

Note: Dear Lianne I DON’T KNOW WHEN I’M GOING TO BE ONLINE SO STOP EATING MY SOUL. I need it- it stops water from getting into my shoe.

Anyhoo…. I’m not leaving actually, I’m just, as previously mentioned, going away camoping for a while. I may die though. Not of death as I first thought, but of force 12 gales. I’ve just heard the weather you see. FORCE 12!!! As in Force Can-uproot-trees-throw-them-at-my-head-and-throw-me-into-the-Irish-Sea-rip-my-shins-off-and-batter-me-to-death-with-them. Yes, the weather will be a teensy bit shite. I will require your thoughts to be with me. Anybody in the Conwy area (Rowen to be precise) that wishes to visit me with an aid parcel is more than welcome. Though you may die trying to reach me, your sacrifice will be appreciated and possibly laughed at depending on the nature of your death. Anyone who passes away after being hit by 14 badgers blown along by the gale will have a special place in my heart. In the same way that Steve Irwin had a special place for rays…. GEDDIT?

Katey-Lou will probably be more than a little bored without my charming presence, so pay her attention. She should be going out on a girls night out so will probably find a boyfriend that is actually reasonable and will leave me. Such is life- I’ll have to live at the cub camp and subsist on a diet of fallen trees and airborn woodland animals. Windswept vole is a personal favourite of mine. Yummers.

Anyway, on that note I shall leave you as I have a merry blaze to start using badgers arse hair and rain.

Tatty-bye!

Tom, Post-humously awarded Best Cub ever…..

If Carlsburg made cubs they would probably be the best cubs in the world…. etc…