Happy Families

Howdo, my little shin-piglets!

Or something along those lines. Sorry, I’m feeling a touch scatty today. This is destined to be one of the fabled Tom Kilby rambly entries of yore, back in ye olde Englande when there were more ‘e’s to spare on the end of words. Why the hell do the do that? Did someone one day just go through the alphabet thinking "Hmmmm, which of these little letters gives an enduring and dignified sense of age?" before settling on e. Strange.

Anyway, yes. In refererence to the title my household may soon have a new member though I am not at liberty to divest this information in detail. All I will say is that the occupant will have no more than four limbs and a propensity for mild eccentricity of a twig-hurling nature. And that I’m rather excited about it…. more on that soon!

All of my shoes have broken. All of them. I’m currently borrowing a pair one size too small and seven thousand nerve endings too painful. Plus they make loud noises and are too shiny- I basically look and sound like a hippified version of famed blouse-wearing tycoon Michael "Look at de speed o’ me ould feet" Flattley. God he’s a gimp. A dancing one, but a gimp all the same. I mean, who wears those shirts on purpose???? Idiot.

I’ve just spoken to the Kate and I’m allowed to tell you what I previously alluded to. We are moving in together. Very soon, very sudden, very freaky but very, very good. She will be renting another part of the house that I live in- as such we will be together but still have our own place… it WILL work! We are meant to be! It is so weird moving in this quickly as I am the most randomly wandery person in the world but we just work so well…… oh well, watch this space for more tales of Tom and Kateness! Where was I?

Oh yes, Riverdance and the letter e. I have no idea where to move logically in this stream of drivvel from there so I will go off on a tangent. I’ve been watching a lot of Father Ted lately (Thank you Kate…) and can safely say that the only person in the world that threatens Kate’s position in my heart is Mrs Doyle as not only is she insane but she….. no, just insane. I love that! Bless her mad-Irish-tea-filled socks!

I’m bored of my NVQ (Not Very Qualified…. sorry, I mean National Vocational Qualification…) as… well, it’s crap really. That’s that subject covered. Like a pig covered in mud. Under a blanket. Working under cover as a duvet cover. Maybe.

Why do bloody chavs need there car stereos up so loud? One just drove past my office playing some drivvel, probably by someone called DJ Cock-Twister or something, so loud that the floor and my chair vibrated! It sent a shiver down my spine along my leg across the road and into the lingerie shop, shocking a number of old ladies. Or so I assume, though that is just pure conjecture!

Anyway, I’m not going to right more, as I’m bored. I shall just leave you with an after image of what Kate’s news may well have done to me (all scenes portrayed are reconstructed with the original participants):

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