Bag of Fish

The title yet again has no bearing on the general direction of this entry, but there we go. I’m a random, hog-fat quaffing kind of guy, with a penchant for champagne. And chocolate. And chocolate champagne. In a bag. Possibly.

Anyhoo, back to the less than fascinating kingdom of Tomland (population 2 (me and my ‘little voice’)). My life is, as usual, like Dante’s seventh circle of hell…. some interesting sights , but just seems to go on and on and on fairly predictably, if unpleasantly. This, my friends, is what I like to call ‘the norm’.

I met up with my old tedious girlfriend Georgina and actually had a pleasant time mocking things and watching the Dylan Moran DVD. This either means a) I’m getting boring; b) she’s getting interesting; or c) the world is an endlessly exciting and changing place, where no two days will ever be alike and the endless faculties of mankind will prove an eternal delight to witness. I think situation ‘a’ is most likely, due to my inability to do anything interesting! That is why my diary is so bland! Like tasteless cheese. Or a bread sandwich. When you have no tastebuds. And are in an unmoving vegetative state. In a bag.

Ummm, what to say, what to say… Ah yes, I went to the satff Christmas bash on Saturday night… that was…ummmm… interesting. Well, I danced (DRAMATIC MUSIC). And got rather squiffy. And got accused of being rather close to a (admittedly quite attractive) 34 year old young lady by the name of Karen. I wasn’t trying it on here, just for the record, I just latch on to people at parties as I need some sort of base from which to act. Anyway, I digress, as usual… I quaffed too much rum and guiness and various wines and other such alcoholically imbibed substances and got pulled onto the dance floor by every single member of the staff of work and forced to dance in the middle of their circle. This happened EVERY TIME I SAT DOWN! It might be useful to point out at this point that all of the other staff members are female…. Yes, I was there with 20 women…. I ended up camply moshing and then cossack dancing, before being coaxed into doing the YMCA etc…. yes, twas an odd night. I danced alot with Karen which may be where the rumours began! The evening ended with one of the seniors husbands arriving and geeting rather drunk. At this point he started shouting down the DJs microphone about Karen and I being a ‘lovely couple’ before then going on to say that he’d sleep with me if she turned me down as ‘I have long hair so it’s not far off a woman’. Yes, I liked him…….

I then walked home at 2am across the Menai Bridge and back to my little bed for a night cap!

There, my exciting life encapsulated until my diary gets deleted again…

Good by peoples!

Tom

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