Sorrow I cannot swallow

I wish more then anything I could just be there now.
I feel like I’m holding back in ways, I definitely feel like in our moments of silence I think things that I don’t want to say because I don’t know how to say them.
I feel withdrawn and questionable.
This distance has got me so frustrated, my feelings are awry and it makes me wonder how solid your feelings actually are. I feel so fucking lost and it’s my own goddamn fault. My heart and my head are in turmoil but I am out of sorts tonight, I should just go to bed.

…I just wish I could talk to you right now.