back in America

 Well, I’m back in America, and so glad to be back here. It’s nice to be in a country where you can speak to people. It’s true, I did talk to folks a lot in Spain because I’m fluent in Spanish…. but I had about 3 weeks of being in Holland, Hungary, Czech Republic, and Turkey… hardly anyone wants to talk to you. Only in Turkey did we get some friendly English speakers.

I did a lot of shopping. I ended up with a lot of colognes (7, to be exact), and quite a few pairs of shoes. I bought a new man purse (a murse?), some shirts, some travel bags, some shades… lots of cute accessories. I bought jewelry for my mom, my sister, a coworker, my yoga teacher. I got a cute handmade wooden toy (looks like a flying boat) for my nephew while at a street fair in Madrid. I managed to buy and hide a gift for Richie, he has no idea and on the odd chance that he finds and reads this, I’m not going to say what it is. I also bought 4 or 5 scarves- they’re super cheap and cute. 

it was a lot of fun, but I’m relieved to be back. We actually missed our flight from Madrid to Dallas and had to spend the night in the Madrid airport because that flight only happens once a day and we didn’t have money for a hotel. Still, it was a picnic compared to the midnight train from Prague to Budapest. THAT was a nightmare, I was actually praying for gipsy bandits to board us and rescue me from drunken Slovakian small talk-guy.

I bought some fortune telling cards from a little hungarian lady, and they’re pretty awesome. They’re gipsy dukkering cards, and they’re really accurate. I love them… wonder if I could make some side money by doing card readings? I used to do them professionally in my early 20s, and now I’ve had about 25 years experience with it… hmm, maybe I’ll do that for fun.

Okay… we’re home now. We’re both off for about a week so we can decompress and readjust our body clocks. Also, it’s memorial day weekend, a huge holiday for the gay community here in Austin. We have people from all over the world come for our Splash weekends, and this is First Splash, the official summer kickoff party. Should be fun!

A favorite of mine wrote recently that she wanted to have a gay best friend, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know any gay people. How offensive. I’m sure she’s thinking that we’d love to dress her and hear about her boy problems, but you know what? Most of us don’t like that since we’re people with our own lives. Dear straight women- I’m a dude. Yes, that’s a purse, but it’s right next to my penis. Please don’t treat me like a poodle. 

I actually have a lot of lady friends, but those are your standard issue friendships, none of this "ooh, he’s gay and therefore qualified to assist me since I’m lovelorn. yay, snappy repartee!" 

sorry for the non-travel related rant, but I really hate this. Again, I blame Will and Grace for making straight women think we’re asexual ladyboys who only exist to entertain.