purge,now with EDIT!

I always thought that my adaptability and easy going nature were a good thing, but apparently it’s not. I was hired to do makeup for a wedding last weekend, but it didn’t work out. Let’s have a little backstory first…

A few months ago a woman approached me via facebook (this was back in August, y’all) and said that she knew of me through mutual friends and thought that I was ‘fabulous’. That is code y’all- she meant that she heard I was gay. Well, she wanted to know if I did wedding makeup and what do you know? I do! She wanted me for her wedding, so I said yes. Because she was a friend of a friend and a yoga teacher, I actually agreed to a rock bottom price… they asked me what I wanted and when I said "250.00 bucks" they (the bride and the maid of honor) balked and talked me down to 40.00 bucks. I know, insane.Oh, and get this!! she actually told me that she expected to be able to keep any makeup that I used on her… as a gift, since she was getting married. I said no to that.

So I cancelled plans (white tantric yoga was on that day this year), shifted my work schedule around, and got everything ready to go… and then she cancelled on me with only 12 hours notice. I didn’t react negatively, just responded to her email with a very polite "I’m sorry that it didn’t work out, I’m sure it will be beautiful, best of luck to you" note. I thought that was the end of it all…

She emailed me 2 days later to tell me that she was disappointed that I didn’t put up more of a fight to remain in her wedding, or show hurt feelings that I was being let go. What I took from that was that she wanted me to beg to stay attached, or that I should have really wanted to be a part of some stranger’s wedding… She then proceeded to outline the ‘life lessons’ I should be learning from the whole experience…

I talked to my teacher before anything, and I responded with a succint "I feel like you’re badgering me for an apology, and I am telling you that it’s not coming. You can’t tell me what to think or how to feel, and you certainly don’t know what lessons I need to learn. Quit contacting me."

more to come…

okay, I’m back. I reread what I wrote and realized that I forgot to mention (in case any new folks drop by to read this) that I’m a professional makeup artist. I worked on a national level with an internationally known brand… I’m good at what I do 🙂

So yeah… it seems like she wanted me to apologize when she cancelled, and I did point that out to her in an earlier email "just a reminder, you cancelled on me. I didn’t make a big stink out of it because it was your decision to make and I wanted to back away graciously." was what I said.

It’s obvious that she thought that as the bride she should be in charge and we should all be bowing and scraping to make her happy, or make her dream come true, or whatever… but you know what? Whatever! I’m a professional, and you engaged my services. You did not buy me. I’m not your mail order homo who will prance around for your entertainment. I blame Will and Grace for making women think that gay men are asexual entertainers, only good for one liners and fashion or love advice. Fuck you Will and Grace.

why would some stranger I’ve only traded emails with think I would be hurt to be excluded from her wedding anyways? Doesn’t she realize that gay marriage is illegal in oh, 90 percent of this country or so? Maybe I DON’T want to celebrate another hetero milestone. I should have sent a bouquet with a note that says "congratulations on your wedding, I hope you end up in the 50% that stays married" or "I hope you have babies that are real little assholes!"