09/06/2009

let’s review why i’m an idiot:  (1) i developed a crush on kristina’s neighbor, brian.  (2) i friended him on facebook and we talked for over an hour on thursday night.  (3) he asked me to come hang out with him on friday night because his roommate was going to be away and he wanted a drinking buddy.  (4) i agreed.  (5) he gave me his number and i texted him on friday at noon.  (6) our text message conversation didn’t end until 8 p.m., when i got to his apartment.

and here’s the biggest reason of them all:  i promised myself that i would NOT let my hormones get the better of me.  they did.

i am so fucking stupid.  after the pat situation, i told myself that i would never do it again.  i told myself that i would not be the "other girl" again.  and now, again, i am the other girl.  the one he likes but the one he can’t be with.

he says he doesn’t want to be with his girlfriend and that the only reason he’s even still with her is because he doesn’t know how to end it.  i believe him, but i also know that, more than likely, he won’t ever leave her.

WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?!