Looooong one today

My Family!

Hi everybody!!!!!!!

Its been a hell of a week, like seriously. Yet its gone quickly. I’ve done alot of things this week, I never thought I would do.
 
 

First off, I broke up with my girlfriend Rai. I kept telling myself I WOULDN’T do it….then things just came to a head, and I found myself doing just that. We’re better off this way, our being in a relationship wasn’t fair to either of us. I need to be with someone that will allow me to be a real PART of their life, instead of treating me like a junkyard dog, that needs to be content with the occasional pat on the head in passing. I got tired of feeling like a dog, starved for attention, with a master who had too much going on in their life to acknoledge it. It left me feeling angry, frustrated, sad, and inadequate. I hated feeling that way, and I shut myself down months ago. She never even noticed. Thats how I knew it needed to be over for sure. She didn’t even know my cats name, and this was NOT a long distance relationship. We were together almost 6 months. Monday would have been our anniversary. We had about a single months actual relationship in that time. It made me sad to end it, but how much time and energy do you put into something that you can clearly see, plain as day, isn’t going anywhere? It wasn’t fair to me, to be in something I could no longer put my everything into, and it wasn’t fair to her, to be stuck with a woman who was CLEARLY unhappy. I’m free now…free from the bad…but also free from good. I love Rai and her kids very much, and tho I rarely saw them anyway, it makes me sad to think I may not see them anymore. I hope we can be friends. I am definitely game. I do not know what goes on in her mind though. Time will tell where we can be.

In the meantime, I am ready to get OUT there again. I’ve spent so much time "waiting" that I kinda stopped living. I mean, I’m busy…don’t get me wrong. I have been keeping my days and nights so filled with activity, that I just plain don’t have TIME to think. When you can’t think, its hard to be sad. Anybody who knows me, knows I’m the eternally happy person. Can’t let ms. happy pants be sad, right?

I met a guy the other day, he said that I was "effervescent" a clean breath of fresh air, that is much needed in a sad existance. Why does everyone I meet have to live a sad existance? Isn’t there anybody left in the world who is happy, and content with their life? My life surely isn’t perfect, but you make the best of things, and be HAPPY with what you’ve got. You have to LIVE your imperfect life, and make the absolute BEST of what you have, instead of lamenting that everyone else has it better than you, and that you’ve got nothing. I do not know ONE person in my life who truly has nothing. We may not have alot of money, or a high paying job, or a significant other…..but as long as you have a roof of some sort over your head, SOMEBODY who loves you….friends….family….love…whatever..as long as SOMEBODY loves you….as long as somebody cares….and there is always somebody out there who does….then you don’t have "Nothing" and life is pretty good. lol As Hannah Montana sings..
 
"Life’s what you make it, so lets make it rock!! "
 
How sad, I’m quoting Hannah Montana…but her songs are really good..they have a great Disney channel message. lol Here…this song….it my anthem for the moment.
 
"Life’s What You Make It"

Don’t let no small frustration
Ever bring you down
No no no no
Just take a situation
And turn it all around

With a new attitude everything can change
Make it how you want it to be
Stayin’ mad, why do that?
Give yourself a break
Laugh about it and you’ll see

Life’s what you make it
So let’s make it rock
Life’s what you make it
So come on come on (everybody now)

Why be sad, broken hearted?
Theres so much to do
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Life is hard or
It’s a party
The choice is up to you

With a new attitude everything can change
Make it how you want it to be
Stayin’ sad, why do that?
Give yourself a break
I know you wanna party with me

Life’s what you make it
So let’s make it rock
Life’s what you make it
So come on come on

Lets celebrate it
Join in everyone
You decide
‘Cause life’s…what you make it

Things are looking up
Any time you want
All you gotta do is realize that
It’s under your control
So let the good times rock and roll

Ow!
Da da da do it now
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah
OW!
Alright
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah

Life’s what you make it
So let’s make it rock
(let’s make it rock)
Life’s what you make it
So come on come on (everybody now)
Let’s celebrate it
Join in everyone
You decide
‘Cause life’s…what you make it
Life is what you make it
 
So yeah, life as seen by Hannah Montana…but it works. I like it, and to be honest..I live in a Disney world…..24/7 pretty much…disney.
 
So I changed over my radio today at work to the 24/7 Christmas Station. I’m ready!!! I paid my past two balance on my cell phone, so I only owe $160. Its gotten out of control. Paying two bills is killing me. I am so tempted to just get rid of the cell all together, come february, when my contract is up. We can just switch Rai’s into her name, not mine…and let her ful-fill the rest of her contract. Its tempting….I mean…I have a home phone. Who needs both. Incentive to be home more? My phone is broke…I can’t text properly…it takes like an hour to type one message….my phone has given out on me..no warranty…i have to either sign a new contract, or get outta there
 
What else…oh I have been talking to some new fantastic people….made some new friends who make me laugh so hard I shoot things out my nose. People who love animals like I do….people who don’t look at me strange when I say I talked to the dog last night…. lol
 
The girls I live with are also a big part of my life.  Cora, the older one is already planning our big sleep over, in my room….lol And "lazy sunday" like we did last week!!! hehehee She is soo sweet. She looooves my animals. She makes sure they get plenty of attention when I’m not home. She is always in my room. Snuggling the fuzzies..waiting for me to come home and watch a movie. She had Tinkerbelle going last night, and was so dissappointed I couldn’t watch with her. For the first time ever, I bonded more with the older child than the younger one. She is just something special. Robin and Cora texted me last ngiht, while I was bowling. Hammy, their hamster was bloated, and they wanted me to look at him when I got home. I went home, and lo and behold…he was fine again. They described what it looked like, and I told them what happened. LOL Hammy filled his food pouches with food. They didn’t even know hamsters had pouches. They were soooooooooooo relieved. The kids are gonna get a fish tank now…we will truly have a zoo at home. I’m in heaven!!!!!
 
Tonight, Vicky is coming over, and we’re gonna have a "poor mans date" lol
We’re gonna watch movies, and stuff ourselves with junk food. It sounds like heaven!!!!!
Thats the kinda thing I have been trying to get people to come over and do for ages. Finally, I hooked one! 🙂

And Saturday…its my date with Cayleb. He’s been calling all week, asking when our "date" was gonna be. I went on a date with Maryssa last saturday. Dinner and a movie. 🙂 We ate at Applebys, and saw SAW 5. Kickasss time!! So this saturday, I’m gonna pick up Cay-tub, and we’re gonna go to the Painted Penguin, and maybe Hooters for dinner. 🙂 YUM YUM!!!

Its his choice, and he is treating me! 🙂 I’m kinda excited!!!

Sunday, is lazy day…and I’m gonna sleep til I can’t anymore, and then stay in bed, and watch movies on the family channel. lol This excites me. Oh and when i get bored, or on commercials….I’m cleaning and mopping the floor. I wanna do that otnight too….
 
Ok thats it for now…talk to ya’ll soon!!

Kristin