6/20/08
My Family!
I’m done…I swear I don’t know if I can take it anymore.
The stress of life is just getting to me, tearing me apart to the point where I just can’t function.
I just got some news…my boss called me over to her desk to give me the great scoop….two people just gave their notice, another is getting fired, and another is going on vacation.
The one that is going on a month long vacation…..starting June 27th….Manny.
They just NOW tell me….I will be doing his job while he is gone. Do I have any idea how to do his job?? NO!! I used to be the main backup, back when Barb had that job, but they have changed it so much that its not even the same position anymore. I have NO IDEA how to do it. I have no idea…and its more than a full time position. Its SUPER stressful, SUPER time consuming, and right now, I don’t even have time to do my own job. I mean seriously, I am just finally getting caught up on my own job due to help from da boss and tons of overtime.
I was looking forward to camping, and taking some time off this summer. NOPE!! Guess instead I shall be receiving….the BANE of my existance. At least that means for three weeks, I won’t have to do Wal-Mart, but at what price? My stress level. I have been off my meds too long…I must stop in there and get them tonight sometime. Between the headaches, and my blood pressure being dangerously high…and the fact that there is just too much stress in my life right now….
Instead of flying to Atlanta in July, like I normally do…I have to do RECEIVING. Instead of my all expenses paid vacation and tons of overtime….but fun overtime…..I am going to do the job I hate most in this company.
Where is the justice. Where is the…..grr….seriously. Why does life have to keep shitting on me? I am sick, alone, and stressed, and they just keep piling it on me. When do I get a break? When do I get to relax, when do I get to go camping, swim, and just enjoy life. Am I destined for life alone, with nothing but pure stress? Am I destined to lie awake all night every night, in excruciating pain, knowing that there is nothing that will ease it?
But I keep going on and on….you guys probably have no idea what I am talking about…but that’s ok….I miss me. I miss me so badly. I am going to fake it til I make it…bring happy me back..I HATE this sad depressing, down feeling. I hate it. I feel dirty, unclean. I feel just….BLAH!! On the bright side, my house is clean. Jaime is starting to make the living room a mess again, but its not too bad, and I can prolly knock it out in about 10 mins tonight. My bedroom, I MUST hang up the laundry…all of it…so I can put the dirty clothes in the bin…and I need to clean the bathroom….and otnight is rattie cage cleaning. Its starting to be verrrry stinky. lol I was just waiting til payday, in case I use all my litter.
I also need to buy rattie food, cuz my boys are PIGS!! LOL They will quickly eat me out of house and home…and their water bottle…i swear they drain one every single day between the three of them. LOL I will never be able to take a vacation without getting a rattie sitter. lol Tho I know Dawn would happily watch my ratties for me. She loves them, and wants to steal my hairless baby boy. lol She is trying to claim him as her own already!! Well she did name him, and his name is so perfect. It fits him SO WELL!! LOL Mortimer….Morty….he is getting SO BIG!!! My other boys are too….Oliver especially, tho Templeton is definitely catching up. Ollie is big, fat, smart, and sweet. He will lick me for hours and hours if I let him, and will find me. Whereever I am, he will find me when he wants me. If I put my hand in his cage, he will climb up it, onto my shoulder. Its really cute. The baby and Tempe haven’t quite mastered that yet. They are getting better. The baby is just too cute….Dawn is always holdinghim, and he is good for her. He tries to climb into her mouth, and down her shirt. lol Poor Templeton needs somebody to bond with. We all have our favorites, and he is left alone because he is always on the move. He doesn’t sit still for you, he is constantly on the go. And he SNEEZES!!! Oh does he sneeze. I was worried he was sick, but now i wonder if he just has allergies. lol They tore apart their Tiki Hut. lol So now they sleep in their favorite poop corner.
Manny just came up to me, and asked if Pete talked to me yet….NO nobody has officially talked to me, I just got the underground news….so I told him we will train together on monday, and that he needs to train me fresh, like i have never done it before. Cuz I honestly don’t know whats going on at that desk. I don’t have the forms anymore, I just don’t have anything….GRR!! But my mood is much better. I think everything is gonna be ok!! 🙂
My outlook on life is a little bit better. I think all will be will with my stress level, my life, and my mental health. I was worried for awhile…I don’t want to be depressed. Depression makes me feel dirty, and I don’t want to be dirty. I have always fought off depression before, I can do it now too. I am an island, I count on nobody but myself. I am master of my own destiny, and ultimately the choices I make affect only me. I choose LIFE, I choose to LIVE it. Not dwell in my sadness and patheticness. I am never lonely because I have myself…I have my furry and feathered friends. I have my family, and I have friends. They are all out there, I just have to make myself heard. If I need to talk, Titus ALWAYS has an open ear, and a sympathetic lick. If i ever get too full of myself, Jakey will knock me right down. LOL The ratties always tell me if I smell good, and Alfie loves to wolf whistle me, and make me feel desiired. LOL I know, he is a bird…thats sick…but it is an ego boost!!! 🙂
I have everything I need….I have absolutely no reason to feel down. I am a lucky lucky woman, and I need to remember that. I have amazing people in my life, and its almost whole. I will save this entry, and refer back to it when I get discouraged.
Time to call Wal-Mart in, so I can go home at a decent hour. Peace out, G funks!!!
Kristin
