Turkey Day

Thanksgiving, I woke up before my alarm went off, because I heard Drew was up.  I went in to his room and Drew, Merry, Pippin, and I all laid out together in his bed for awhile, before he started complaining and saying, "Everybody out!"  I did get up not too long after he said that, because I had to get the turkey in and start in on cutting up potatoes and apples for mashed potatoes and the apple pie.  I went to his doorway at one point, and saw he was getting his shoes on.  I asked where he was going, and all he’d tell me was "out, for awhile."

I wondered if he was actually gonna go see his kids that day, and when I was sitting at the kitchen table and he went to the door, I said, "If I guess, will you tell me if I’m right or not?"  I’m pretty sure he said no, lol.  He opened the door and I said, "What, I don’t even get a hug before you leave?"  Amazingly, he came back in, comes over, and gives me a hug.  As he pulled away, I said, "You’re going to see your kids today, aren’t you?"  He just gave me a look and then was out the door.  (After saying, "I only have one child.  And he’s dead.")

The thought occurred to me that maybe he wasn’t seeing his girls, but that he was going to his son’s grave.  Briefly, I had the fleeting thought of driving to the cemetery that I *think* he’s buried in, and seeing if I could find the grave.  But then I thought if Drew actually did go there, how much of an invasion of privacy would it be for me to show up?  I wanted to text him to ask if he’d be home before my parents got there, (in about two hours,) but I held myself back from that as well.  He’d told me before he left he’d be about an hour or so, (and then jokingly said, "Or six.  Or eight."  And so on.)  So I forced myself not to grab my phone and instead just figure that if he wasn’t home by quarter to two, then I’d ask when he’d be back.

So at noon, I listened to Alice’s Restaurant on 104.3, which has become something of a Thanksgiving tradition for me.    And right around two, I looked out the window and saw that Drew had gotten back and my parents and uncle had gotten there.

(Oh, for all his insisting that he wasn’t gonna help me peel and cut the potatoes, he did.    He also cleaned the table, twice!, but then retired to the living room for most of the time Mom and I were in there setting up for the home made noodles, mashed potatoes, apple pie, stuffing, etc.)

All in all, dinner came out good.  I wish I’d gotten more stuffing and the apple pie didn’t turn out as good as I would’ve liked, but other than that, things were good.  The turkey wasn’t dry or anything, and considering it was my first time making a turkey, that was a huge success for me.  Especially when Drew said it was good.    That made my night right there.

After dinner, we all played Finish Lines, this board game my parents have where one person reads a quote or song lyric or TV theme show line and the one hearing it has to complete said line.  Such as, (and yes, this is an actual card in the game, my dad read it to my uncle,) "Twinkle, twinkle, little star . . ."  And of course, the rest of the line, that my uncle had to give, is, "how I wonder where you are."

Drew was sweet at one point.  We all had at least two tiles, (or maybe he just had one?  Yeah, I think he just had one,) except for my mom.  She hadn’t gotten any yet.  (You get a tile when you get an answer right, and they go on this bar.  Once the bar is full, you’ve won.)  Anyway, Drew landed on a space that said to give up one tile to any player.  So he immediately takes his and slides it over to my mom.

After that game, we had dessert and coffee and then went and played Taboo, this game where you have to describe a word without using about five other words on the card.  Like, how would you describe the word ‘diamond’ if you couldn’t say ‘jewelry,’ ‘shiny,’ ‘girl’s best friend,’ or ‘baseball’?  It’s a lot more challenging than you’d think if you’ve never played it.  Drew and I did pretty well, I think.  We make a good team.

My cousin started texting me towards the end of the game because I’d told him I’d see if I could get his Nintendo working and he could pick it up that night.  I actually mostly did get it working, which surprised me.  It was while he was there and talking to my parents that Drew went out again for a smoke and I decided to go after him.  It was when I was down there that he admitted he’d gone to his son’s grave that morning.  He left a Dark Knight action figure on the grave.

I feel so bad for him sometimes.  Before my parents got there, he’d brought something into the kitchen and was washing it out at the sink.  I asked what it was and he told me and I recognized it as something he’d gotten during the summer when he was determined to become a minister again.  And I said something like, "Oh, yeah, you got that during the whole minister thing back during the summer."  And he kinda let out a "heh…" kinda sound and said, "Minister thing?  Yeah, something else I failed at."

When we were outside that night, he told me he’s failed as a father.  I wish he didn’t think of himself like that . . .

We went back in and Darnell, my parents, and my uncle left not too long after.  Then, Drew sat in his recliner, me on the couch, and when he was switching on the TV, I asked what he was thankful for this year.  He didn’t give me any kind of answer, but later, after we had some bedroom fun, I was lying behind him, my arm around him, and asked again, "Seriously, what are you thankful for?"  And he says, after some kind of "Oh, geez!" remark, "I’m thankful for you, you pain in the butt!"  And he mentioned a couple other things, but I don’t remember those, word for word.  They were basically the general kind of sentiments.  You know, thankful to be walking, talking, breathing, all that.

I told him I love him and again, he went on the whole, "Yeah, until somebody your age comes along."  And that night, he actually said, "Yeah, you say that now, but wait till you see a gray hair on me."

A) he already has gray in his beard and about three gray chest hairs.  (Yeah, yeah, TMI, deal with it.  Lol.)  B) like I said to him, I’m not that fickle.  I truly do believe I’ve found my other half in him.  The one who makes me complete.  The one who lets me know I’m truly not alone in the world anymore.  The one I spent twenty-six years searching for.  So why am I gonna give that up just because of a gray hair or someone in their late twenties?

That’s the thing.  I don’t care about guys my age anymore.  (Well, as friends, they’re fine, but you know what I mean.)  As far as dating someone else, I have zero interest.  For the most part, I don’t even look at other guys anymore and think, ‘oh, he’s cute.’  I’ve found what I want, so why do I need to do something like that?

One day, he’s going to believe I love him.  Of that, I remain confident.

All in all, though, it was a good day, and had a good ending.