Taken Me Long Enough, Don’t Cha Think?

It’s taken me long enough to get back on here to type an entry, don’t you think? Lol.  God, there’s so much to cover.

September 1st, Drew and I moved into Longbrook.  That was also the day I pretty much stopped talking to Lexi.  Honestly, the more I’d hung out with her around that period, the more immature she proved to be.  Much like I said Shannon’s the most close-minded advocator of open-mindedness I’ve ever seen, Lexi was the most immature advocator of maturity I’ve ever seen.  And while I’ll give her that she could very well have forgotten that September first was Drew’s and my move-in date, it still doesn’t excuse the fact that she called me that night, at ONE AM.  I pressed ignore on my cell because I didn’t wanna just let it ring, and I didn’t feel like talking to her.  So, she leaves a voicemail.  then, about a minute later, calls AGAIN.  I pressed ignore and she leaves another voicemail!!  I listened to them a couple days later, just to erase them, and the first one, (or should I say third, since there were two others from previous days,) was this whiny-voiced, "Kaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy-teeeeeee, (<–spelled how it sounded when she was whining it,) it’s one am, Domino’s has been closed for an hoooooouuuuuuuurrrrrrr!  Why aren’t you answering your phoooone?"

Yeah.  Needless to say, I didn’t bother calling back.  Like I said, she most likely forgot I was off that day, considering the mention of Domino’s, so I’ll give that she had no idea exactly how exhausted I was from moving stuff into the apartment, but frankly, unless it’s an emergency, DON’T CALL ME AT ONE IN THE FLIPPIN’ MORNING!!!!!!!  Especially not to whine about how I’m not answering my phone.  I mean, seriously!

I can’t remember exactly when it was, but before the apartment, I’d rekindled something of a friendship with this guy named Gene, who I met at Barnes and Noble months before the entire Kansas venture.  Well, I’m also not bothering with him anymore.  See, the first week of September, Drew and I had an argument.  He wasn’t even pissed because of anything related to me, he was just taking his frustration out on me. Not fair, definitely, but hey, it happens.  And I can’t blame him for feeling like relationships aren’t worth it and all that, what with everything his ex throws at him.  I mean, I can say all I want that I’m not like that, that haven’t things with us been different, ad whatnot, but we’ve only been together on and off since August of last year, and steadily together since this past May.  Anyway, during that argument, Drew was talking break-up, and leaving the apartment, and it was a mistake we ever did this, all this stuff, and I was obviously really upset.  I didn’t want to be arguing with him, especially when he admitted to me that his anger had nothing to do with me.  Well, I texted Gene about the generalities of the argument and that I was upset, simply because I needed someone to talk to at that point and he was the only person awake and available, and I thought, a good listener.

Well…

Instead of just listening and giving the me usual comforts, ("it’ll be okay," "this’ll blow over," "he’s not mad at you, it’s not your fault," etc.,) he starts telling me that I’d better get the Hell away from Drew.  That Drew was dangerous, and that he was "a textbook example of an abuser."  That’s actually what he said.  A "textbook example."  And he claimed he ‘knew this for sure’ because of some member of his family, a grandfather I think.  Yeah, it was his grandfather, who treated his grandmother and his mother like crap.  And that because he had a family member like that, he apparently has this ‘unclouded clarity’ of when other people are like that.

Okay, as I told him, I’m sorry that he has that kind of history in his family and that his mother and grandmother had to go through that.  No one should have to.  But he’s never even met Drew.  Hell, he’s never even seen Drew.  So where the Hell does he get off judging him like that?  And he had the nerve to get angry at me when I told him (still calmly at this point, because I wasn’t angry yet) that I felt he wasn’t being fair to Drew, that he didn’t know him, and didn’t have the right to judge him so harshly.  And instead of taking a step back and saying okay, maybe I had a point, and that we should step back from this conversation, he tells me he doesn’t WANT to ever meet Drew because he ‘knows the kind of person’ Drew is.

I’ll give him that the next day, he texted me and apologized, saying that he realized he went too far, and he was judging Drew unfairly, he was just really worried about me and the situation I’d gotten myself into.  I texted him back saying, "Honestly, I’m in no frame of mind to accept or deny an apology, thopugh my instinct is to lean towards the latter.Frankly, I’ve had enough of people I know judging other people I know when they have absolutely NO basis for that judgement.  I don’t need to ‘have a scare put in me’ because I know about abuse, I can recognize the signs, and I’m not some naive, young thing who’s gonna deny reality because I don’t wanna believe it could happen to me.
"You have a singular amount of nerve, daring to say of someone you never met, and said you never WANT to meet, that they’re a ‘textbook example’ of an abuser.  I am sorry for what’s happened in your family’s past.  It’s a sucky one to have to deal with, but obviously that situation proves you don’t possess the ‘unclouded clarity’ you claimed last night.
"I do appreciate that you’ve apologized and explained yourself, but right now, I think I need time.  Because the fact that even for a short time, you believed him capable of abusing, or mistreating me in whatever way and me doing nothing about it because you thought I think I can change him, is something that cut deep.  I can’t respect someone who’s close-minded enough to judge someone without at least having a conversation with them.  That’s not to say respect could never be re-earned, but that’s where things stand with me right now."

He tried calling me right after I sent that message.  I didn’t answer and didn’t bother listening to his message.  To be honest, I have no interest in speaking to him again.

On an upside, I’ve rekindled a friendship with someone I’ve talked to on and off since Brookdale, the first time I was in it.  This girl named Lindsay.  We’ve hung out a few times, shared some interesting and definitely hard to speak of stuff over texts.  All in all, I’m glad we’re talking again, and on a semi-regular basis now. 

On the Drew front, things are actually going well.  Yes, we’ve had about three arguments since moving in together.  The last was at the end of September, the 27th, or so.  Hey, almost a month with no arguments!  Woo-hoo!  Lol.  Seriously, though, things are going well.  He’s got a Hell of a lot of red buttons that are far too easy to push accidentally, thanks to the relationships he’s been in in the past.  I hate it, but on the upside, he’s taking baby steps in not taking his anger out on me.

Like this past Sunday.  He got pissed, but instead of being all ‘leave me alone’ like he usually is, he ranted to me.  The way he used to.  You know, just getting his frustrations out, (or perhaps just voicing them,) and while everyone knew that he was pissed, he wasn’t taking it out on anyone.  So, I was proud of him. 

Other than this stuff, I can’t wait for Halloween.  I’m dressing up as a Snow Queen.  It’s gonna be awesome.

Bye!