13 Reasons – Number One

Maybe it was Christmas, maybe it was the fact that I forced myself to reach out and actually take a risk at asking Mike Keller if friendship was a possibility between us, maybe it was the revelations I’ve been making lately, or perhaps a combination of all three and more, but I’m honestly feeling better about everything concerning Mike.

Joey once said I was the emotionally strongest person he knew.  Recently, I was thinking about that and I realized — he’s right.  Okay, I don’t know the comparisons between myself and anyone else he knows, but I really am emotionally strong.  And it took me thinking about that to realize exactly how weak Mike truly is.  Not physically, but emotionally and mentally.  He was right when, in an OD entry, he said he was broken.  Only you know what I discovered?  It wasn’t because of me.  He was already broken long before I met him.  And I was the one who, albeit at times not very well, pieced him back together.

All his little friends now, I didn’t see them helping.  I didn’t see them even realizing that anything was truly that out of the ordinary.

I’ve thought that I was broken many times during this entire ordeal, as well as through other ones.  But I never was.  I never gave up to that degree.

Not much of a first entry for my 13 Reasons, but it’s a start.  I’ll continue later.