Because He “Loved” Me . . .

Florida Flower asked if there was someone in their lives that her faves couldn’t get over.

Heh.  Yeah, I’d say there is for me . . .

I’ve wanted to write an entry on it recently, to be honest.  Everything with Mike still kills me.  No one knows exactly how much I went through because of him and it’s gonna take novels to write everything out.

He promised me.  He told me he’d be around.  He told me he wouldn’t leave.  Best friends forever.  When does forever only mean six and a half years?

I heard Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion last night. 

This was "our song."  I sang it to him at my senior prom.  Everyone surrounded us with the glass candle things we got as gifts, and were swaying back and forth with those candle things lit.  And at the end of the song, he dipped me and kissed me in front of everyone.

Now, this is what things feel like.  Because . . .  I don’t even know how to describe it . . .

He promised he’d be there.  He said that when and if he ever got married, the one he loved would have to understand that his best friend (me) was going to be the maid of honor.

Now I can’t help wondering if he’s made that promise to Shannon.

::Sighs::  It kills me, even now.  And I can’t even find the words to describe how much.