I Found My Answer

I found my answer to the entire Mike dilemma.  It was in the form of a note that Andy left me over something completely different almost three years ago.  He said something to the effect of, "either let someone treat you like garbage, or be the gem you are."

He’s right.  Whatever I did to Mike, he also handed back to me.  It wasn’t a one-sided world of hurt entirely on my shoulders.  He has his responsibilities in everything he did to me, as well.  And he’s hurt me in more ways than he’ll ever know.  But no more.

In the most recent issue of Case Closed, it’s said that familiarity is no reason to be with a person.  How true that is.  I can’t say that he’s hurt me for the last time, because the memories will continue to take their toll on me.  But as far as anything else, I’m done.  After that comment about leaving him alone on his livejournal, I’m not looking at that anymore.  I’m taking the road that I should have initially.

Initially, I was just going to send the letter and then put things out of my mind.  Well, I built up what turned out to be false hope, and I’m tired of crashing.  I’m putting it out of my mind, because I don’t need to be thinking about  someone who insists that others should forgive and make peace and such when he can do that for everyone else, but not me.

I’m not going to waste my time anymore.  I was a fool, but I’ve come through it and I’m not going to think in that direction anymore.  It’s just been proven to me once again that the Mike Vroom I once knew and cared for is thoroughly dead.  I do grieve that passing in manay ways, because now all that’s left is this ruthless shell of what he once was.

Well, I’m going to go get disks from Office Max so I can send my novel out.  I’m not going to look at what was.  I’m going to look at what is.  And what is in front of me is a great guy who treats me right and would be willing to selflessly sacrifice himself if he thought that was what I needed.  And you know, I’d do the same for him.