Watching The Wheels Go Round And Round . . .

Happy
X-Mas
(War Is Over)

Yoko: Happy Christmas, Kyoko!
John: Happy Christmas, Julian!

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear ones
The old and the young

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong
And so Happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let’s stop all the fight

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas
And what have we done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so Happy Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

War is over if you want it
War is over now

 

December 8th, 1980, was an unusually warm Monday night.  Instead of driving through, John and Yoko got out of the car and walked up to the entrance of their New York apartment building, the Dakota.  Soemone in the crowd, later discovered to be Mark David Chapman, said, "Mr. Lennon?"  As John turned, the clock saying 10:50 PM, he was met with a barrage of bullets.  He was driven to the hospital, but all efforts to save him failed and he was officially pronounced dead at 11:15 PM.

In all the world, all the Beatle and John fans unite tonight to mourn the loss of one of the greatest and most unique songwriters ever to be successful.

And of course, as I’m writing my own little message of memorial, I feel likemy own life is going to Hell.  After I wrote that last entry, I turned off my computer, got up, and went upstairs to tell Mike we had to talk and we had to talk NOW.  So he came downstairs and while I don’t remember everything that was said, this came to be the basic message: He wouldn’t stand in my way.  If Rob and I got together, he’d accept it.  He wouldn’t be happy, but neither would he protest.  However, it would definitely change their relationship and definitely end it for the time being as Mike got used to the idea and accepted things.  He said he would talk to Rob and tell him that no, he doesn’t control me, no I don’t need his permission for anything, etc.  But that he’d also tell him that if Rob and I got together, that yeah, their friendship would change.

Unfortunately, it comes down to this: Rob has a choice between a semi-changed friendship with Mike, or a definitely changed and ended-for-a-bit friendship with Mike and a relationship with me, a girl he barely knows.

I called him today and left a voicemail message for him.  I’ll probably call again around nine-thirty-ish because honestly I know Mike said that he’d talk to him, but I just want this done with.  Rob helped me without even knowing he was doing it by giving me the ability to get over Jason.  I want the ability to get over him.  And until I know what his decision is, or perhaps I should say until I hear the decision from his mouth, I won’t be able to.

::Sighs::  I hate this.  I truly do.  Because I really like him, but . . .

I already know what he’ll pick.  And I can’t even blame him for choosing a friend, someone he’s known since high school, over someone he’s met a handful of times and hardly knows.

Hopefully I’ll be able to talk to him tonight.  I’ll find out what’s going on in his head over all this.  And though it’ll take me some time to get used to the idea, I’ll avoid him if that’s what he wants.  I’ll fade back into the background, just being a friend of a friend.

Even though that’s the last thing I want . . .

Oh, well . . .  Ten-fifty tonight, I’m lighting my candle.  For John.  For peace.  For truth.