How The Grinch Stole Christmas . . .

The Grinch’s Theme Song

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel,
You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch,
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch,
Your heart’s an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch,
I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Grinch,
Given a choice between the two of you I’d take the seasick crocodile!

You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch,
You’re the king of sinful sots,
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Grinch,
You’re a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch,
With a nauseous super "naus"!,
You’re a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss, Mr. Grinch,
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch,
You’re a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk"!

 

Today drove me nuts.  This entire situation drives me nuts.  And I honestly think that it this goes on too much longer without a positive bend, Mike’s gonna have a posse on his hands.

Why is wanting to be happy without him such a crime?  I mean, "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" came on when I drove him to the chiropractor and I couldn’t help really identifying with the later lines.  You know . . .

"I couldn’t take it any longer, Lord I was crazed
and then the feelin’ came upon me like a title wave,
I started swearing to my God and on my mother’s grave,
that I would love you to the end of time!
I swore!
I would love you to the end of time . . .
So now I’m praying for the end of time
to hurry up and arrive.
Cuz if I gotta spend another minute with you,
I don’t think that I could really survive.
I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow,
BUT GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT I COULD DO RIGHT NOW
I’m praying for the end of time it’s all that I can do!
Praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you!"

I feel like he’s taking my chance at happiness away from me.  And then he sits there and gets all depressed and claims that no, that’s not what he’s doing, can’t I imagine how he feels, blah, blah, blah.

Honestly, does he WANT me to hate him?  Because that’s where this is going.  He’s trapped me, rather ingeniously, and if I suggest moving out, he’ll claim that that’s "running away from the problem."  Honestly, I think he thinks the problem is that ‘somewhere in me, I still love him.’  Here’s a news flash, Mike:  I DON’T!!!!  And unless you want me to start truly hating you, LET ME BE HAPPY!!!!

No, I don’t want to hurt him.  No, I don’t want to see him be unhappy.  But honestly, it’s either a choice between seeing me happy, or making me hate him.  He’ll be miserable either way, but at least one way, I’d still be there to be a friend.  Seriously, does he WANT to lose me forever?  Because that’s where he’s headed.

I’m about to give up on Rob, too.  I just . . . I don’t see any hope.  I mean, I might as well cancel what I wanted to do for his birthday.  I might as well just say ‘Hell with it’ for New Year’s plans.  I’m still gonna invite people over, but I’ve gotta stop thinking about him coming . . .

DAMNIT!!!!  I don’t WANT to give up on Rob!!!  I REALLY like him and I SHOULD be able to go out with him!!!  This should NOT be an issue!  I don’t need Mike’s permission to date someone!!!  You know what?  So he doesn’t like it, SO F*CKIN’ WHAT?!?!?!?!  Mike said himself that I didn’t belong to him, so why the HELL am I looking for his approval in dating someone else?

Yeah, I trapped myself, but only in the fact that that’s what I’d thought.  No, he won’t like it.  I wouldn’t expect him to like it.  But you know what?  Rob’s a good guy.  He’s nice, he’s kind, he’s gentlemanly, he’s just generally wonderful.  So plain and simple, if Mike decided he couldn’t be friends with Rob anymore simply based on the fact that I was dating him, then that’s just plain shallow and stupid on Mike’s part.

You know what?  Yeah, I’ve got more to write about, if for no other reason than Melanie and I hung out tonight, but I need to go kick Mike awake.