Oh, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch . . .

I’m still feeling lonely, but I do feel better.  I have those depressed little stints where I just have to get stuff out every now and again.

On the upside, I found the Old Bridge ice rink again.  Completely convoluted way to do it, but at least I know where I went.  A friend of Mike’s from work, Rob, (the one who dressed as Miroku,) said that he had Wednesday free, so we’re gonna go then.  Unfortunately, Mike works, so it’ll just be me and Rob, but hey, whatever.  I think it’ll just be nice to be able to go there and skate.

No luck on the job front yet.  PetSmart called me on Friday and said that they’d gone over my application with whatever manager they needed to and that they didn’t need my services.  Damnit.  I owe Mike over three hundred dollars because of this stupid thing with my credit card and it doesn’t seem like any place is willing to hire me!

Oh, well.  I’ll find someplace, somehow.

On a bit of good news, my DVD of the Frightener’s finally came in and I can pick it up soon.  Bad news?  I didn’t prepay it, so that measn more money borrowed from Mike.  Hmm . . .  Maybe I can just tell him about it and he can buy it and then give it to me for Christmas. 

Oh, yeah.  On another downside, I figured out the flaw in my possible crush on the other guy.  Not Gene, the other one I mentioned.  Simple thing, even if he was interested, I doubt he’d go for dating me.  Not because of any insecurity issue I’ve got about myself.  No, this one’s purely outside my realm of control.  ::Sighs::  Even if he did like me, I’d be very surprised if he went against this particular thing, because he doesn’t strike me as the type of person to do so.

I think I’m gonna redraw that Archie comic so that maybe my dad can send it in.  If it gets published, I’ll have my name in a comic as well as getting some money.  And as far as my own web comic goes, well, one of the characters kind of went nutty on me and another’s going kind of evil, but that’s okay.  The entire theme of the story is to not be fooled by appearances.  Right now, I’m working on holiday drawings.  I’ve got a Halloween one drawn up, I’m working on a St. Patrick’s Day one, and will do a Christmas one, Easter one, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, and any others I can think of.

That’s what I like best about it, I think.  Because I’ve had to learn the hard way so many times that you can’t be someone you’re not.  If people don’t accept you for who you are, then they aren’t worth associating with.

I wonder what kind of people I’ll meet at college?  I wonder how many’ll be my age, or if most of them will be eighteen, twenty, in general younger than me.  Heh.  I wonder if I’ll actually meet people, or if everyone’ll just keep to themselves.  Honestly, that’s almost what I’d rather do.  Focus on getting my education and getting through this with as few distractions as possible.

Assuming I don’t find a job, I’m bargaining with my parents to get some kind of monthly allowance.  That way, I’ll have a bit of spending money and can give Mike my half of the cell phone bill each month.  Plus, I’ll probably save some and give it to him to make som meager attempt at paying him back the money I owe.  I hate being in debt.

Okay, I think I’ve complained enough.  It’s kind of funny.  I don’t know if I want to decorate my diary with Christmas stuff and icons and colors.  It’s not that I don’t like Christmas.  I love it.  I just don’t want to acknowledge it’s approach, since it looks like I won’t be able to do squat as far as gifts.

And that sucks . . .