Outside Looking In

Follow You Down
By: Gin Blossoms

Did you see the sky?
I think it means that we’ve been lost
Maybe one last time is all we need
I can’t really help it
If my tongue’s all tied in knots
Jumping off a bridge is just
the farthest that I’ve ever been

Anywhere you go, I’ll follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I’ll follow you down
I’ll follow you down, but not that far 

I know we’re headed somewhere
I can see how far we’ve come
But still I can’t remember anything
Let’s not do the wrong thing
And I’ll swear it might be fun
It’s a long way down
When all the knots we’ve tied
have come undone

Anywhere you go, I’ll follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I’ll follow you down
I’ll follow you down, but not that far  

How you gonna ever find your place
Running in an artificial pace
Are they gonna find us
lying face down in the sand
So what the hell now
we’ve already been forever damned

Anywhere you go, I’ll follow you down
Anyplace but those I know by heart
Anywhere you go, I’ll follow you down
I’ll follow you down, but not that far 

 

I’ve noticed in the past few days that my perception has changed on certain things.  I used to be really sensitive about not fitting into a group, or just generally feeling out of place.  But now I notice that it doesn’t bother me so much anymore.  I have a general outlook of, "Oh, this isn’t something I’m supposed to be included in.  Okay."  It’s an odd perception, because I’m not bitter about it in the least.  Moreso, I’m just observing what’s going on and what the other people are doing/saying.

Plus, it’s interestingseeing what a person’s eyes will tell you that their words won’t.  Or even that their words deny.  Yet, eyes don’t lie.  They’ll betray you even when you think the rest of your disguise is perfect.

There are some things, I admit, I wish I could say.  But I know they’ll either be misunderstood or misconstrued.  Wait.  Are those the same things?  Regardless, it’s like I see something that I know is there, but that I can’t say, because everyone wants to pretend it isn’t.

I don’t know.  I mean, it’s odd.  Everything’s odd lately.  But sometimes when I’m having a conversation with someone, I’ll make a comment and then I’ll actually think to myself, "Okay, enough said on that.  Don’t kill the joke."  Or maybe, "No don’t add something to that.  They get it."

Yeah, I’m weird like that.

::Sighs::

Anyway.  I still need to go to Brookdale today and talk to someone at the counseling area to see if I can talk to someone else about classes.  Then I just need to make sure I’ll stay interested in the idea for the summer.  If I don’t, then maybe I can still plan on the apartment venture.  I don’t know, though.  Living out in your own place seems so expensive.  What do I mean "seems?"  It IS  so expensive.  But if I’m not going to school, I don’t really wanna be here much longer.

I watched the second Care Bears Movie yesterday.  I bought it from Barnes and Noble.  It has a really grown up theme, considering it’s meant to be a kids movie.  No one who is really cared about is beyond redemption.

Yet I have to wonder about that.  I mean, if no one were truly beyond redemption . . .  I don’t know.

I’m not even truly sure what I’m saying here.  Just filling up space.  There are different things that I want to tell different people, but it’s almost like I’m a vampire in the information department.  I can’t give it unless I’m invited to.  And I haven’t been invited to.  I suppose it’s okay if I’m not, but I still worry.  And wonder.

I loved this song in eighth grade.  I still love it.  I’m glad I heard it on Saturday.  I’d completely forgotten about it.