It’s Almost A Year Ago

It’s almost a year ago since everything happened with my . . . shall we say, discoveries about Jason.  About why . . . 

I’ve been skimmed older entries lately, because I’m incorporating them into the offline typed diary I have.  So many of those entries about Jason are full of pain, misery, hurt, anger . . .  Every negative emotion I can think of.  Selfishness on his part, because he knew I wanted to hear from him so many times, yet kept breaking the promises he made to me.

Heh.  If he had been anyone else, I would’ve dropped him from my life after putting up with not even half of that crap.

I don’t regret my decisions, though.  I did what I had to do, and I know it was right.  I can’t, won’t, be in a friendship or any sort of relationship, where I have to hide.  That’s not a part of friendship.  Friendship shouldn’t have conditions like that.

I’ve realized that I hate the decisions I had to make, I hate that I had to make the in the first place, and I hate that I have to stick to this resolve because of Jason’s choices, but . . . he’s still my best friend.  I still love him, curse me, and I still hope that one day, we’ll be reunited.

I hate everythig about the situation and why I had to do the things I did.  Yet I also realized that underneath it all, I still value him as my best friend.  Underneath everything else, we parted as friends.  I hope we’ll reunite as such one day.