::Sighs:: Damn Him . . .

Raoul:

"We shall (DAMN!!! I HATE Encore!!)
play his game,
perform his works,
but remember we hold the ace!
For if Miss Daae sings,
he is certain to attend."

Christine:

"Twisted every way,
what answer can I give?
Am I to risk my life,
to win the chance to live?
Can I betray the man
who once inspired my voice?
Do I become his prey?
Do I have any choice?

He kills without a thought,
he murders all that’s good . . .
I know I can’t refuse
and yet, I wish I could . . .
Oh God – if I agree,
what horrors wait for me
in this, the Phantom’s opera . . .?"

Phantom:

This face,
which earned
a mother’s fear
and loathing . . .
A mask,
my first
unfeeling scrap
of clothing . . .

Christine:

Pitiful creature
of darkness . . .
What kind of life
have you known . . .?
God give me courage
to show you
you are not alone . . .

I swear, just as I basically get him out of my head, he goes and gets into a damned car accident.  I make sure he’s okay, and start getting on with my life, I start feeling okay, and BAM, he writes an entry asking for help with that Harlequinn story.  ::Sighs::  Well, I bypassed E-mailing him.  I just wrote it in here.  But it’s odd.  I feel like he was baiting me with that entry.  I feel like he wants me to E-mail him.  He’s trying to trick me into contacting him, even over something as simple as a story.  He’s trying to get me to come back.

Jesus Christ, he is the Phantom of the Opera . . .  Because that’s exactly what the Phantom did to Christine.  He enticed her into his world, and even when it seemed that he would let her go . . . he wasn’t.  He didn’t.

Hmm . . .  Well, judging by the play and how my life has gone so far, I’d say that the chandelier has fallen, and we’re at the Masquerade.  The Phantom has just shown himself, saying that he’s written an opera, (Geez, how scary is it how well this fits?) and wants Christine as his lead.  I wonder.  Am I strong enough to stand tall whereas Christine failed?  Can I truly . . .

::Sighs::  I don’t even know.  I do wonder, though.  How far is he willing to go to see if I’ll contact him?  ::Sighs::  He really is a very selfish person.  I do have to admit that.  He’s perfectly happy having me as a friend, as long as I stay tucked away in a nice little box, away from sight, away from everything, our friendship hidden under layers of lies, secrecy, and deception.  It’s no wonder I went on such an emotional roller coaster during the last two years with him.

I also admit, though, for whatever reason, I still love him.  But I’m seeing more and more, it’s not a healthy form of love.  And it won’t be unless he does get away from his mom.  Heh.  That’s sort of Phantom-esque, too.

I don’t know . . .  That entry of his about that contest was baiting me.  He wants to see if I’ll E-mail him.  And I do admit, he couldn’t have picked a better setting to make his attempt.  And he probably knows that as well.  I’ve resisted going up there for weeks now, only speaking to him briefly once, to see if he was all right from that car accident.  I haven’t noted him, E-mailed, IMed, or anything otherwise.

I wonder how far he dares to go to try and et me to speak to him.  I don’t think he’ll come here.  He won’t make it that obvious.  I doubt he wants me to know that he wants me to talk to him.