Ranting And My Reasoning

I posted this in my LIve Journal, too.

There isn’t an expression that goes with my mood, or the mood of this entry, so yeah. Indescribable works.

See, I can’t deny that good things have happened to me in the past week or so. But I also have to add that tragedy has struck, and I’ve been really pissed off in the past week or so. And I hate that, considering Christmas and all. I want to be in a good mood. But I swear, someone has something against that.

::Sighs:: Screw it. I’m really pissed off concerning things with Mike’s mom. And what seems to be the common consensus that everyone has concerning what I know I’m going to do when/if I ever see her again. It’s a simple fact. If I ever see her again, I’m going to tell that bitch off. I’m going to let her know exactly what that letter did the day it was received and read. I’m going to let her know exactly what I think of her IM’s to me afterwards. I’m going to tell her exactly how permanently she lost ANY sense of respect/trust/love I had for her. After everything she pulled, it’s nothing less than she deserves.

But you know what? I keep getting the same basic reaction when I tell people this. “It’s within their family, let them deal with it.” Or “you shouldn’t do that, what will it do to the rest of them?” Or “maybe she does deserve it, but does that mean you should do it? Does that make it right?” Or, my personal ‘favorite,’ “so, you’re saying that the ends justify the means. That no matter who you hurt in the doing, if you accomplish the goal, that’s what matters?”

A) It’s not just within their family. I was there that day the letter came. I read it. I was the one who had those countless IM’s with her, where she lied in just about everyone of them. Or insisted that what she did was a survival instinct, or some other BS like that. Not to mention that her actions did not just effect her family, they effected people outside of it, and therefore, she has to answer to those outside people. If she wanted it to remain just within her family, or just with her and Mike’s dad, then one, she never should have enlisted Dan’s help to escape, and two, she ever should have sent a letter. She should have called them, and spoken to Mike’s dad.

B) Frankly, I don’t care what it does to the rest of them. I know that my actions will have an effect on them, but you know what? Her actiosn had an effect on me. And an incredibly negative one at that. But, me telling her off has nothing to do with the rest of them. It’s between her and me. And frankly, nothing that I’m going to say is untrue. So, while I know that they’ll get some of the backlash of what I say, none of them can say that it isn’t warranted.

C) She deserves to be told off, and made to answer for the things that she did that not only screwed over my trust for her, but screwed over Mike, and his dad, and Dan in a lot of ways. Yes, I do feel that it is the right thing to do, because this is not something that should just be let go of, without any MAJOR apology and ammendment of action on her part.

D) Ah, yes. My personal favorite. Well, I have a question back to the one who posed that inquiry to me. You see, the situation is this: I hate her. Unquestionably. So, either I hate her, and silently suffer in my own right, not doing anything about it, and purposely holding that hatred under wraps, and therefore placing a strain on Mike whenever he mentions her, because I simply do not want to hear about her. and get angry when she is brought up because the entire thing stresses me. Or, I tell her off when an opportunity presents itself, therefore getting everything off my chest, forcing her to answer for her actions, and showing her that there’s at least one person out there who’s not going to just say, “Oh, it’s all right. You really screwed up, but you still love us, so everything’s okay now.”

Yes, I do admit, telling her off will place a strain on probably all four of them, especially if I really get going. But you know what? You tell me which one is better. Keeping it under wraps where I’m still hating her for years to come, or getting it out, off my chest, and then being able to ove forward?

No, I don’t want to hit other people in the crossfire. But if other people get in my way, they will be hit. Because I do want to move on. I do want to stop hating her. But I already know I’m not gonna be able to until I tell her off.