All I Want For Christmas Is You . . .

All I Want For
Christmas Is You 

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about presents
underneath the Christmas tree
I don’t need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won’t make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You baby

I won’t ask for much this Christmas
I won’t even wish for snow
I’m just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won’t make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won’t even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
‘Cause I just want you here tonight
Holding on to me so tight
What more can I do
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
You

All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children’s
Laughter fills the air
And everyone is singing
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won’t you bring me the one I really need
Won’t you please bring my baby to me

Oh, I don’t want a lot for Christmas
This is all I’m asking for
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want him for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
You

All I want for Christmas is you baby
All I want for Christmas is you baby

Well, first off, here’s a little something.

First, recommend to me:
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a musical artist, song, or album
(A) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want. I’ll answer what I can.
(B) Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything!
These all have to be things you havn’t recomended/asked me before!

Well, today was another long work day.  From nine to five-thirty.  On the upside, if I calculate this right, I’ll get . . . about $360.  So, yeah, that’s nice.  I’m gonna see if I can finish up my Christmas shopping tomorrow, I’m taking a break from DDR, cuz it’s killing my legs.  I barely made it through the four I did tonight!  So, yeah, tomorrow and Tuesday, I’m gonna leave off on DDR-ing.  My legs do feel stronger, though, so that’s something good.  Plus, I got one of those roller thingies that’s supposed to help tone abs.

Okay, anything more that I write on this’ll be done later, when my hands aren’t as cold, and Mike isn’t sitting next to me pretending to read a manga.

God, this is weird . . .  Every time I put food in my mouth, I feel like I’m undoing something I’ve accomplished.  I don’t want to put food in my mouth, I don’t want to eat, because that means I could go overboard, which means I could undo any progress I’ve made so far, which means that my body will remain like this.

This is hard.  Undeniably hard.  Not just the fact that I’m waiting for results that are nowhere near instantaneous, but the fact that it’s something I have to be continually aware of.  I mean, I think this one thing I read once said it best.  That addictions to food do exist, and that’s the hardest addiction to overcome, because it’s not something that you can just stop doing.  A person can quit drugs, alcohol, or even certain kinds of foods, but no one can just stop eating entirely and hope to live.

It’s a matter of balance, but I’m still trying to find that balance.  I have a long way to go, but I hope by my birthday, I’ll have reached my goal.  That gives myself plenty of time, and I can do this slowly, and more importantly, correctly.

This will basically be something of my journal of progress, worries, etc.  Don’t worry, I don’t think my diary will turn into just my weight loss achievements or thoughts/worries.  This is just what I’m thinking on right now.  Hopefully soon, I’ll find a good balance that I can live by, where I don’t feel guilty or weird putting food in my mouth, and I’ll be able to write about other things because this is no longer the most dominant thought on my mind.

Speaking of dominant thoughts . . .  Yeah, guess who the song to the right refers to?  I’ll give you three chances.  The first two don’t count.  If his initials are J.D., you win a prize.  Heh . . .

I hear this, and I miss him.  I hear Jingle Bell Rock, and I miss him.  I hear that Christmas Canon piece, with that boys choir that I’d love to get on CD, and I miss him.

It sucks.  On the upside, though, at least I know that any depression I feel in the oing few weeks will be my own memories/making.  If that can be called an upside . . .  But it’s not me wondering what the Hell is going through his head, and driving up there, amidst rain or snow to find out.

I did do everything I could for him.  I think now I finally feel that.  I miss him, but as I’ve said, I couldn’t go on like that.

At least I’m finding myself happier these days.  Though the Christmas songs that I prefer to listen to are the more depressing ones, like Christmas Shoes, or Another Auld Lang Sign.  Or cynical, like that “The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me . . .” song.  That one’s just great.  I laugh every time I hear it, and I’ve heard it about three times in the past two days.  You know what’s odd, though?  I haven’t heard the Snoopy and the Red Baron Christmas one yet.  Usually I’ve heard that about five times by now.  Odd . . .  Oh, well.  Today was also the first time I heard the Trans-Siberian Orchestra version of Carols of the Bells on the radio.

Where are you, Christmas? on the other hand, I heard three times today.  Yeesh.  You think they need a bit more variety?  I do . . .

I wonder . . .  Ten bucks says I won’t even see him at the caroling.  Or if I do, that he’ll look right through me.

::Sighs::  What more can I do?  All I want for Christmas is you . . .