O, Christmas Tree

O, Christmas Tree

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
How are thy leaves so verdant!
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
How are thy leaves so verdant!

Not only in the summertime,
But even in winter is thy prime.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
How are thy leaves so verdant!

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

For every year the Christmas tree,
Brings to us all both joy and glee.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Much pleasure doth thou bring me!

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Thy candles shine out brightly!
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Thy candles shine out brightly!

Each bough doth hold its tiny light,
That makes each toy to sparkle bright.
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree,
Thy candles shine out brightly!

I’ve actually started writing this late on the night of the third.  It’s after two in the morning.  So, I’m just gonna leave this entry for tonight, and write more on it tomorrow.

Okay, it’s tomorrow.  Mike and Mike Keller were supposed to hang out, but Mike woke up with one of those killer headache things, and stayed in bed, also calling out of work.  Perfectly understandable.  I had one of those back-of-my-head-is-about-to-explode headaches not too long ago.  I hate them.

Anyway, I went to two different places to se if it was possible to get DDR for the Playstation 1.  Unfortunately, the place that did have the CD sold it, and the other place didn’t have it, period.  So, yeah, that sucks.  I went back to FunTime and played it there.  I got a 102.36 percent on the second song!!!  And I don’t remember which one, it was probably that one, but I got an over-90-move combo!  So, yeah, I’m really starting to rule at that game.  Plus, on one of the more difficult ones in that set, one I never tried before, I got a 95 percent!

Yeah.  That was my exercise for today.  Plus sixty crunches and 3 reps of ten wit those five pound weights.

I’m actually not going overboard, even though it may sound like it.  I’m just actually sticking with this, this time.  I did have a disturbing thing happen today, though.  See, I hadn’t eaten anything today before I went and played DDR.  And I did that around two or three.  I think I got back at around three-thirty or so.  So, I asked Mike if he wanted to go and get Chinese around four or five.  He said okay, so we drove over to First Wok and got some Chinese.  I got what I’ve taken to getting lately.  Pint of shrimp fried rice, pint of beef w/broccoli, and two egg rolls.  Now, even as I’m seeing it typed out, it doesn’t look like much.  But when I went up to the bathroom later, I actually found myself thinking, “Why did I eat that?  I’m going to undo everything I did today as far as exercising, and I’m not going to progress at all!”  I actually found myself thinking that I hadn’t *really* been hungry when we got the Chinese, I hadn’t really needed to eat it, because I wasn’t feeling hungry when I brought it back to the house.

And I just found that really disturbing, because I can see that being how anorexia starts in someone.  Just the thought of, “I didn’t really need to eat that.  After all, I wasn’t hungry.”  Then the next time, skipping it.  And it starts snowballing form there.  I mean, I actually looked myself in the mirror, and asked myself, “Did I just think that?”  Because I can’t believe I would.  Eating disorders have always not only confused but disgusted me.  And I don’t say that to insult anyone.  I just say it because it’s true.  Because after realizing what I was thinking, I said to my reflection that no, of course it was good that I ate that food, it’s how I sustain myself.  I can’t go without food, because otherwise I wouldn’t be able to exercise and remain healthy like I want to.  Eating disorders simply do more damage to a person, and I don’t want to damage myself, I want to improve myself.

That’s why eating disoreders have confused me as well.  I mean, we learn about the five food groups in health class, we learn about what to eat to stay helathy, we learn that exercise is part of it, too, we learn about what foods are fattening, etc.  But we learn that eating a good, healthy, proportioned meal can keep us at a good weight when it’s balanced with a good amount of exercise.  So WHY are there so many people out there starving themselves to be thin?  I don’t understand it.  I mean, no, I don’t think anyone wants to be overweight, but starving to be thin?  That can kill you!  No one should want to come so close to death to be thin.  I mean, it does irreperable damage in some cases.  Not eating for extended periods, days, weeks, whatever, can shorten your overall lifespan.  So instead of living ninety years, you may only live to be seventy or eighty.

And don’t even get me started on bulemia.  First, forcing yourself to throw up is disgusting.  Just in a literal sense, it really is.  I mean, who wants the smell of vomit to cling to them?  Second, it doesn’t help you lose weight.  It just means that anything you eat isn’t being absorbed into your body, so you’re neither gaining, nor losing anything.  And while some may consider that a plus, that the fats and sugars aren’t being absorbed, it’s really not, because essential nutrients and vitamins and the like aren’t being absorbed, either.  Not to mention that by forcing yourself to throw up, stomach acids are coming up as well, and over time can virtually burn away your stomach lining and esophagus.  Not to mention effecting your teeth, your tongue, your breath . . .

All in all, it’s not worth it.  Which, I think, is a major reason why it scared me that I was actually thinking in, what I feel, could be the start of an anorexic mindset.  I’m not going to go there.  I’m not going to become another statistic in an eating disorder census.  I’m going weight/exercise happy, but it’s in a good way.  I just have to keep in mind that the amount of exercise I do has to counter and overbalance the amount of food I intake, therefore inabling me to lose weight because I’m exercising and burning off more than I’m eating.

I’m not sure right now what my goal is besides that skirt.  I’ll see once I fit comfortably into it.