Private Rant Cuz I’ll Be Lynched If I Public-ed It
Well, this isn’t going in the public part of my diary, because I’ve yet to be able to completely separate myself from the comments that I’m bound to get by criticizing others’ lives. But I can’t keep these opinions inside my head anymore, so if I can’t write them publicly, I’ll do it this way.
::Edit on May 12th, 2007:: Or, I would have been lynched, but enough time has gone by, and it’s not like anyone’ll read this entry, anyway.
Melanie: I can definitley understand you being angry at Kim, and think that especially after this last stunt, they probably aren’t worth it, but think about one thing. You knew her for seven years. You’ve known Kenny for two. I know that girls can be become petty when guys are involved, believe me, I know, but there’s a five year lead on what had been your friendship with Kim. I know you won’t listen to me, and I don’t want to add more stress, but I still wonder if it wouldn’t be a smart thing to find out why she’s truly doing this. I can’t help thinking that if she wanted to break you two up, why pick such a stupid way of going about it?
Kenny: Yeah, you know what? You don’t like me, and I don’t like you. I don’t know whether or not I do/would believe that you would cheat on Melanie, but you know what? That’s not my concern. My concern is the fact that you’re petty enough to automatically assume that I would believe, without any evidence for or against, that you’re capable of hurting her like that. Yeah, I got a bad feeling off of you, and off of what I heard about you, but you know something else? I believe that Melanie is smart. And if you are screwing her over, she’ll know sooner or later, and you’ll be screwed out of one terrific person. If you are what she thinks you are, then you’ll be with one terrific person for the rest of your life.
Jill: My God, you’re a fool. You’re not out of this funk. Far from it. I can practically see it, and you know what? It’s killing me. It is driving me absolutely insane that you still seem to be covering up things instead of facing them head on. And it kills me that you’re still sitting back waiting for someone to "recover" from "panic attacks" when he’s not even making an effort to go to a doctor! What, are you not worth enough to him to take out? He’s still using you as a crutch, and you’re enabling him to do it because you’re the one who goes over there, you’re the one who calls him, you’re the one who makes the effort. Tell me, what efforts is he making for you? You saw you had a problem with anxiety, and you went to a therapist. You decided to seek out professional help. Whether or not you’re still seeing that professional help or not, I don’t know, but at least you saw that your problem was something you were not solving on your own. What’s his excuse? He "wants independence?" Bullsh*t. He just doesn’t have the guts to admit he has a problem that he can’t handle. And he just expects you to put up with that. And you know what? You are! You’re letting him not get cured, and thinking that that’s "unconditional love."
If you were truly in love with him, you’d be strong enough to force him to depend on himself, instead of you, and get well. And if he truly loved you, he wouldn’t think you were turning your back on him, and he would work to get well to be the boyfriend you deserve.
Jason: I’m going to lose you, aren’t I? Yeah, I have no doubt that you’ve weighed everything I’ve said in your mind, but in the end, it’ll always be the same result, won’t it?