529 – Cynical Entry

Break Away

By:
Kate Workman

Broken mirrors, and glass all around
Lost reflections, and worry abound.
Someties with love, all that it takes,
can twist you and turn you, or make you break.

Will you truly let me be broken?
Will you forget all the love that you’ve spoken?

Will you give up your stance
or can you take this chance?
For yourself, for me,
for all that you know you can be.

You say that in this life you’ve grown.
What about the sadness that’s still sown?
You have my hand,
through your time in this land.

You know I’ll be here beside you.

I think . . . when it comes down to it, I can dream all I want for the future, but there are some things that are inevitably not going to come true.  I wonder why there are people that I keep believing in.  I wonder why I keep trying.  All I ever do, it seems, is fail.

There are so many things . . .  So many people I’d love to be able to help.  So many that I want to help.  But I can’t.  Either because they won’t accept it, or they don’t want it, or they think there isn;t a problem, or I can’t get close enough to them to provide any help . . .

It seems so hopeless.  Life isn’t like my novels.  Life isn’t a whirlwind of events that eventually culminates in the male and female protagonists kissing and everything being wonderful.  Life is hard, life is pain, life is challenges, and there are some who, if they’re lucky, meet someone that they can face those things with.  And then there are others who miss that chance, or have it taken away from them, or never saw it come and go, or wouldn’t accept it even when it’s staring them straight in the face.

Love . . . I always thought that when I fell in love, it would be the be-all and end-all of things for me.  When I was in love, it would last forever, things would just fall into place, and life would be perfect.  Ha.  Perfect.  I never counted on what would happn when the newness, and the romance part wore off.  I never knew that a face you once loved seeing so much could become a face you would never want to see again.  I never knew the pain of having to break up with someone who was still so very much in love with me.  I never leanred, and never had proper teachers, for how to fall in love without losing myself to it.  I never knew how to remain my own person while at the same time, giving everything I was to another.  I never learned then what unconditional love was.

I know it now.  I still feel it now.  But what good does it do me?  It’s not enough.  Whereas I thought that love could solve anything when I was younger, I’ve grown up in a much colder world, where fairy tales are nothing more than fancy, and Disney is just a cartoon company.

I didn’t know love meant so much compromise.  It was always, “Someday my Prince will come.”  He’d sweep me off my feet, and carry me off itno the sunset, kissing me so caringly on the way there.  Life would be perfect, and we would live happily ever after, with no worries, no troubles, nothing could touch us, because we would be in love.

Heh.  I was idealistic back then.  On some things, I still am.  But others . . .

We’re born knowing nothing but pure, implicit trust in those who hold us, feed us, care for us.  But all of that gets ruined as we grow up.