Bumblebee Tuna

Today is May 11th. I recall this day well. I went to school, by bus, listening to my Walkman the entire way. As the bus pulled into the school, I saw Will. Got off the bus as quickly as possible, but didn’t catch him. He called out to me just before I made it into Homeroom. I saw him in the Guidance Ofice by chance during first period. Then, during 9th period, I went to the nurse’s office, because I just had to get out of that classroom, and he was there. That was when I first kissed him, because he was so depressed over something that had happened with Katie Marvel. I can’t say that I wish none of that had happened, because it’s helped shape who I am. I realize that the changes I’ve made over the past five years are subtle ones. Maybe not even ones that someone will see right off about me. I’m more open, and more comfortable with who I am, and who I can be. I can now be honst with people and say things directly, instead of either sugar-coating to the max, or not saying anything. I am more understanding of people’s positions, and while I offer my advice, I’m not offended if someone doesn’t take it, nor do I expect my advice to be immediately followed.

(A bit later.)

::Sighs:: Well, I just saw the notes he left. . . . I’m not going to try and explain things. I’m not going to try because whether it would amount to anything or not, it certainly won’t right now. I’m . . . I don’t know what I am right now. Heh. Go to his house again? Right. Like I need more empty threats thrown at me from a psychotic bitch who should have been locked up years ago. But then, I know they’re empty, so what do I care?

::Sighs:: Bravado is a great thing, isn’t it? Yes, Jason, I’m driven mainly by emotion and intuition. But the fact that you think that if I had known what you said to Mike, I’d still have kissed you, you are a fool. I’m driven by emotion to accomplish things. You know, like driving up to Kean in the rain because even though I didn’t know what was up with you, I wanted to see my best friend. Like rushing out in the rain after you, to salvage what I could of our friendship, which you later made a mockery of. Do not call me ignorant. For the things that I know here all point to you implying that Thursday mornings events were my fault, and every bit of information I have shows that you betrayed Mike by telling him what you did, and then going back on it not even three weeks later. You had questions? You were confused? Then why bother to kiss me when you weren’t sure? Why bother to drop the hints? Or how about this angle? Why bother promising me that you’d talk to your parents a couple of days after the semester ended about that “meeting?” Because I’m willing to bet you never talked to them. I’m not sorry that you had to think up another lie to tell your parents about why there was a red mark across your face. It’s just one final proof that you can’t own up to the fact that you had me as a friend. Well, I won’t be someone that a person is ashamed to acknowledge knowing.

You can tell me to leave you alone all you like, Jason. But you know what? You won’t admit it, but you have memories. And I don’t think I’ll leave you alone in them for a long time.

–Notes–

Got those directions for ya:) [OrcDragon65]
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Kate, no offense, but you would have still kissed him. Deep inside yourself, you know it too. If you’d known about his little talk w/Mike, you still would’ve kissed him! Who are u trying to fool? You might have spent many a night wondering what you were going to tell Mike or trying to hide things, but you’d have still kissed Jason. [HyacatDuncan]