A Soul Wandering . . .

“For fifty years, Kikyo’s soul has wandered…
…unable to break free of this haunted world.

She wouldn’t have met that fate…
If I’d simply been able to trust her.”

…

“How can you expect me to forget that?”

I can compare myself to this very easily, though, in a contradictory fashion, I’d also like to think of myself as Kagome, the one setting him free of being haunted. The one who he does give his trust to. You know, I talked to Dolly last night, and gave her an overview of my last entry. She told me that I shouldn’t seem like I was giving him “or else’s.” I should make it seem like I couldn’t care less. I told her that it wouldn’t work, though. Jason would see right through it. Then she said, “Well, make it true.” Make myself not care whether or not I ever see him again. I can’t do that. For her note on my last entry, Melanie’s right. The times when I do see Jason are these . . . incredible memories, these . . . (truly corny wording coming, just to warn readers!!) pearls of joy that I get, just seeing him smile. And she’s definitely right that, extrapolating it to my own circumstances, getting a few answers out of Jason every few months is better than not getting any at all because I’m not seeing him. So many things about her Mike and Jason are similar, though I think Jason values my friendship as much as I value his. Perhaps more. He won’t let me go so easily. At least, I hope he won’t.

I hope you don’t mind me throwing in my two cents, Melanie, about your situation. I know you said you thought about ending your friendship with your Mike. I can’t say that it would be a bad idea to say that to him. It might scare him into realizing that he might lose one terrific person. Because if he is avoiding you, even in part, because of his girlfriend, you don’t deserve that. I mean, keeping your friendship secret just so he doesn’t have to answer to her??? That’s ridiculous! I know you said it wasn’t just her, though, there was also school, on both your parts, and other things. But if he doesn’t value your friendship as much as he should, and as much as you do, then, and I say this from experience, it’s better to end it, and have your memories, than to continue it and have a false friend. I know, you’ve said, and he’s proven, that he’d be there for you if an emergency came up, or if you really just needed him, but . . . And I guess it’s that ‘but’ that’s making me write this. Well, that’s my two cents. I understand if you don’t do anything with it, because your situation may not call for it, or it wouldn’t work, or you have your own ideas on what to do. It’s like we’re both walking blinded, in the dark, to whatever degree, because of these two. It’s not fun.

Hmm . . . Maybe there’s a magic wand I can buy on Ebay for this sort of thing . . .

–Notes–

Comparing ourselves to anime? I’m a bit like Kaji from NGE [Iron Locust]