Saturday . . .

Saturday, Rusty will die . . .

He has cancer, and it’s too far advanced for us to do anything, since it’s all around his heart and lungs. They don’t know if it started in his leg and spread, or if it was inside and spread to his leg.

Rusty . . .

I remember bringing him inside. I remember holding him and snuggling him while he laid on his back and let me scratch his stomach. He had a flea collar when we first got him.

Scratchy, Pepper, Sammi, Stevie, Tigger, Powder, Jerry . . . and Gray. It . . . doesn’t sound right. It just doesn’t sound right. My poor kitty . . . I don’t want him to die. I don’t want him to suffer, but I don’t want him to die. I haven’t lost a cat since I was ten years old. I’m not ready to now . . .

Thank God I was crazy enough to go up there last night and talk to Jason. I’d be so much worse off right now if I hadn’t.

Okay, I don’t know how much I can write on this. We’re putting Rusty to sleep on Saturday, as far as I’ve heard, so he won’t suffer through this and be in pain. We’ve never had to put an animal to sleep, that I’ve been aware of . . .

God, this is gonna hit me hard. I’ve cried at different times throughout the past three days, whether it was over Jason, Rusty, or both. And I know this isn’t the end of my tears . . .

::Sighs:: I’ll be okay, soon. At least I’ll have the comfort of knowing that he’s not going to suffere through starvation and everything, since he can’t eat solid things.

It’s just . . . not going to sound right, without including his name in the list . . .

–Notes–

::huggles her:: im so sry [lost=one]
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It goes without saying that I know how you feel…I am so sorry 🙁 [Jilliebean]
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Unfortunately, the same thing happened to me last year. I lost one of my best friends. A loss like that is difficult to go through and you’ll never completely get over it. I just hope we’ll get to see them again someday. [DorkAlert]
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tamtam19@sbcglobal.net is my email [Heartfelt Advice]