Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da

Dolly,

     Yeah, I’m writing to you again.  Do you remember the sick versiuon of this song you sang with Diana at my Halloween party?  "Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da, that’s a big BRA, how the f*ck does it stay on?"  And then, that other Halloween party when Pam came, and you, her, and me were singing When I’m Sixty-four, and we all pointed at Chuck at that one line.  Those were great times.

     You know why I don’t write to you, for real?  Actually sending that letter that’s still upstairs in the envelope with your address on it, that I wrote so long ago?  People have encouraged me to, and I have to admit, I am tempted.  But . . . I don’t.  And it’s because I can’t yet.  I listen to my intution, and something in me says it’s not the time yet.  Not to mention that things between us are a lot more complicated than a few questions being answered.  I don’t even know how to describe it.  I mean, we were either best friends, or we were nothing.  And we became nothing.

     I still miss you.  Though it has lessened over the two years since we last talked.  I can’t believe that the last time we actually saw one another was almost three years ago.  It was around Easter, remember?  You’d dyed your hair black.  I couldn’t believe that one.  You looked so much better blond.

     I don’t know what more I want to say.  I don’t write to you yet also, because of something else.  I don’t live in the past.  Yes, I remember it, I’ve recorded it, but I don’t live in it.  Yet, I have.  And I don’t think that I could continue with my life, in the present, heading for the future, if I contacted you now.  I think I’d slip into old habits, patterns, and I wouldn’t be able to deal with it, especially if nothing new happened between us.  If it was the same old song.  And I don’t want that.  Maybe I will write to you one day.  But not yet.  I can’t yet.  I’m just . . . not ready yet.

Kate.

–Notes–

i think you have to mail something to her or atleast talk to her, right now i know too well what it feels like ot loose someoen who meant all the world to u, who u thought would always be there, and than out of knowhere just dissapeared u have to try and make things write now because today is all we have and tommorow might be too late 2 years is a long time but 16 is a lot longer ::huggles:: [lost=one]
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that wont work with my parents now i have no b-day plans cause of my dad i wont get presants or money thats what i mean when he found out i was tardy 2 times thats y [thunderlightening]