Miles To Go Before I Sleep

That’s for sure.  I just have to make it through the rest of today, and then tomorrow, I’m up to Kean.

I can’t help thinking I’m a fool.  I mean, why am I so damned determined to get close to someone who makes it so clear that he doesn’t want anyone to be close to him?  Why do I still care about him with just about everything I have when I know he’s disappointed me on countless occasions, broken promises to me, and now, I find out, he’s lied to me!

Why do I do this to myself?  Care about people who are bound to betray me?  God, I hate this.  Why is it that I don’t have anything more important to think about than him??  Why is it that he is dominating my thoughts to the point where I’m making the most obscure connections in my head with what could be going on in his?  Why is it that I still consider the likes of him to be so important in my head?  Why do I still love him, still care for him?  Why can’t I turn my heart cold, my gaze icy, my voice hard?  Why can’t I get over him?

–Notes–

Maybe because you’re a lot like me and have an idealistic mindset and might believe that true love should never be given up on. [*~Advice~*]
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Because someone love is unconditional…it is something I have yet to experience in the romantic sense…and odd as this may sound, since you are obviously having so much trouble with Jason, I am rather envious of you right now. At least you have a good grasp of your own feelings. My hiccups are still here. Ouch… [Jilliebean]