quick updates

EDIT: someone remind me later to write about babies and how they don’t terrify me anymore.

quick updates.

—- the lady —–

things are going very well with the lady.  completely different feelings from previous relationships.  i dont sit around wondering, worrying, any of that.  there’s so much more i can look at to reassure me if i ever get a twinge of doubt.  it’s not like pulling teeth to get that communication going, it’s not feeling like a reacher/settler situation.  we’re both completely dedicated to making the other person happy, and that leads to two very good and happy people.

i spend more nights over there than i do in my own bed, and i sleep better over there than i do at my own house.  we’re just as happy snuggled up on the couch watching some dumb dvd as we would be going out and doing ‘datey’ things.  and that’s awesome.  being comfortable with someone in the boring moments instead of just in the high energy moments.

currently in the process of making that transition from "OMG NEED TO BE WITH YOU EVERY MINUTE" to a more reasonable schedule.  hopefully that goes ok.  i’ve never successfully made that transition, so it’s a bit scary, but i trust we’ll be able to do it.  mostly because of the things i mentioned earlier, that there’s no doubt in my head that we’re both "in", that we both are going to do what it takes to wrap this relationship about our regular worlds, both of which can get pretty busy.

just spent last week celebrating her birthday.  it was really great to have someone to spoil on their birthday.  i’d never been in a relationship for someone’s birthday before.  the timing had always worked out strangely.  then last night (on her actual birthday) i met the parents, which was nerve-wracking and tense for me, but i made it through and apparently got pretty decent reviews, so i’ll chalk that up as a W.  next week is valentine’s day, which she’s in charge of planning, so i’ll be surprised.  again, never been in a relationship on v-day.  pretty excited.  then it’s almost our two-monthiversary (i know, we’re gooey and gross, go barf someplace else)…  busy few weeks, but it’s been so much fun.

that’s about all i have to say there, other than to reiterate how amazing it’s going.  everything that’s ended previous relationships for me as already cropped up and not been an issue, and in some cases, been a point of strength.  so yay for that.

—– work ——

work is… work?  pretty boring. not much ‘progress’ to be made, just doin my thang.

—- life —–

my mom got laid off about a month ago, so i’m supporting the household right now.  i try not to let it affect me, but sometimes i get caught up in wishing i was out on my own.  i think the fact that i’m staying over at the lady’s place more often than not makes it a little easier to deal with the fact that my family unit isn’t in a place, financially, where i’d feel comfortable departing.

—– friends —-

lots of friends’ lives are changing lately, and it’s a litlte weird.  i’m trying really hard not to desert my friends when i’m in a relationship, that caused some pricklieness last time around, so hopefully i’m doing a better job of keeping everyone in the loop.  the fact that my girlfriend is a part of the same social circle certainly helps, so we have a little smaller number of people to try and keep satisfied on both sides.

—— mental ——–

been off the celexa for almost three months now, and not looking back.  haven’t had an ambien in over a month.  really feeling positive about those steps.  and not feeling too much of a mental kickback from being witohut chemical assistance on that.  i think the therapy and repetition has build up some better pathways and receptors to keep everything in order.

—— stuff to complain about ——

ummm… not much to complain about.  been having a lot more dreams lately (not been using many, if any, sleep aids, and i remember my dreams when i’m not taking simply sleep/nyquil/ambien. some of them suck, like waking up in a panic thinking i’d just been dumped.  that wasn’t fun.

there are some outside stressors that i can’t really control at all.  i’ve said my piece to people, or asked for opinions and been sort of sluffed aside. i’m getting better at not giving a flying fuck about people who put me off, so whatever, that’s good.

i had my wisdom teeth out almost 50 days ago, and i’m still having trouble eating.  been back to the surgeon a few tims, and he said everything’s fine, but i dont think it is.  pondering getting a second opinion, although i’m guessing that’d cost $$

——- stuff that makes me happy —–

my girl
my hawkeyes
the fact that people who have no idea about my meds/personal life/whatever can see a positive change in me over the past two months
music

anyway, i’m really, really REALLY tired now, so i’m gonna head to bed, just thought i’d clue you in as to where i sit at the moment, congrats