Happenings

Let’s see… so much ground to cover.  I stopped breast feeding (Alex) about 4 months ago, and started on an antibiotic to get my face back to normal.  It’s working…as long as I remember to take it of course.  When I don’t, which is usually right around my period, then my face breaks out.  I think the two things are related.  Because I’m pretty good about remembering the rest of the month.  I just signed on to be a consultant for Partylite, so will be selling candles, yay me!  LOL… I watch FAR too much Disney channel… or maybe the kids do, so that’s all that’s ever on.  We finally got our "cable" back, in the form of DIsh network, and scaled back our Netflix to 1 disk at a time, so it actually saved us some money.  My PC has pretty much bitten the dust, it’s off right now.  This is a recent development, sort of.  It just keeps giving me a "Hard Error" which is pretty serious, so I am keeping it off til I can figure out what to do.  It’s also ruining my monitors, and I can’t afford to lose another monitor at this point.  I want to get a new mac.  Of course, I’ve been wanting a new mac for the last couple of years, but with my new business, I will get myself one.  It’ll take some work, but that’s all right.  Hey, I party for a living ;).  LOL… Well, whatever, I had to do SOMETHING, and it was pretty much "free" to at least try it.  I had to have a 350 dollar starter party, which I didn’t even come close to, lol, but the woman who I signed up under, Cyndi, she helped me make up the rest of it.  I really like her.  I’m glad she’s my upline.  Now I just have to get some people in under me, and have a bunch of parties, and make some money!   I’ve really got to do this.  I’ve got to make my own money.  Our carpet cleaning business goes in fits and starts, AND IT MAKES OK money when we are working, but if we’re not working, then we’re not bringing in any money.  Odd how that works ;).  So, I wanted another way to make some money, and I’ve looked at Partylite before, kind of wished I’d gotten into it, but I just was SCARED of doing it back then, so I didn’t.  Now I’m not so scared, but I’ve got to get out, and I don’t do that very often.  I don’t always put myself out there like I should.  I am going to have to get OUT of my comfort zone, and also lay off the games.  Becca is extremely pissed that my PC went down…blames ME for it, and hit her dad in the jaw today after being completely rude to him, and him launching down the stairs to get in her face.  Not a good day.  His jaw still hurts.  She was just so disrespectful to me, but he was staying out of it til she started screaming at me.  Which is all I want to say about that.  She feels bad, but I’m not sure it’s enough, truth be told.

Anyway, I have, for the most part, stopped playing Farmville, but I am playing Yoville fairly regularly.  I’m a little soured on Zynga and their "business practices" but I do enjoy playing Yoville.  I feel the need to outline a schedule for myself and just make myself into a better person.  I’m pretty irritated with my life, the rut I’m in, and I’m going to have to go about things differently.  I don’t know… hopefully this is something better than a New Year’s resolution… the feeling is strong, but I have often lacked follow through.  So I will need to put much of it down on paper, I suppose.  I started cleaning out my "scrap" room/office, but there’s no longer a computer in there, which is good but also bad.  When I get a chance, I am going to get a couple of computers, one for this room, and one for my scrap room.  I have much that I want in the way of material goods, and I’ve been putting off so much for so long.  I do want to start scrapping again as well, which is partially why I started cleaning it up/out.  The mess drives me a bit nutty, since I really can’t function in there.  I can’t do much of anything, because all the surfaces have something on them, and of course, the clutter/chaos does make it kind of hard to think.  But with my mac not in there, I can’t even print out pictures really… and the printer is not connected to anything either.  I got a digital photo frame for Christmas, and got a bunch of pictures uploaded to it, which is when I discovered that I’d lost a BUNCH of pictures from having initialized my PC…. WAH… got some of them back, but many are gone forever.  Sigh.  So some things are going to be hard to scrap anyway, partially because of the loss, partially because the pics I was able to recover are not going to be of good quality, they were uploaded to Facebook.  And I didn’t take a lot of pictures to begin with.  I just didn’t feel like it that much.  I got many of the major holidays, but I just didn’t have a camera in hand that often, and we didn’t go and do a lot of things that we could take pics of, and actually those that we did, were the pics that I lost.  So…  Well, I’ll do what I can, but it’ll be a lot like my first scrapbook…not much to it.  Oh well, that’s all right.  Hey, if I scrap ANY of it, I’ll be doing GOOD.  Another thing I desperately want to do this year is go on a Disney cruise and then hit a Disney park for a few days, maybe even a week or two if we go to Disney World and the money allows.  That right there is going to be the catch.  But really, just being able to go to Disneyland would make me happier than just about anything.  I want to take Sammy and Alex before they get too much older, and while Shabree will still enjoy it too.  It’s just been SOOO long since we went last.  I don’t want another year to pass before we go again.  It’s going to be my goal in the next few years to get myself to an income level where I can simply take care of myself and my children, if it ever became necessary.  I’m not saying AT ALL that I want to leave Jerry…but if he were to die, what would I do now?   I need to be able to take care of my family with or without him.  I love him, so I plan on staying with him for as long as possible, but I know I’ll be living a long time, and while he PLANS on living a long time too, you just never do know.  I simply want my own income.  But I don’t want to take away from what I have now, my kids need me.  I want to be home when they get home, I want to be here for them.  But I won’t mind having my career and my way of making money, and when I get to a point where I can buy myself nice things without stressing, that will be the day when I feel free again.  When I can save for my retirement without it taking away from the every day stuff, that is the day when I will be free.  That is what I need.  I can’t go on living like this any longer.  I hate the uncertainty.  I hate the "what if" factor.  I just need to know that no matter what, I can take care of things if it ever came to that.  And the key tends to be money.  It doesn’t buy happi

ness, lol, but it sure does rent it pretty good ;).  It’s not like I am unhappy, because I am generally very happy.  But I would just like to be more secure.  

I am going to play Yoville for awhile, then I’m going to watch tv for awhile.  Maybe I’ll do some laundry, I don’t know.  But I am ready to wrap this up.