Fluke, I guess

The latest in the weight loss adventures (ha): I weighed myself, 207.  Okay, damn, what’s up?  Then I realized, later… had weighed myself with my shirt on!  Yesterday too.  So I took off my shirt, weighed again, 205.4.  YES!  That’s more like it.  Just goes to show you… scales are STUPID.  LOL.  

We’re starting on home school stuff today.  Syd got her materials from UPS, and so we opened them, and are starting with math, whoo.  Syd is doing the first workbook page. 

Oh… I am NOT going to last if she’s going to be as snotty to me as she was today.  I don’t even want to talk about this, it’s SO frustrating!  I’m exhausted.  I was hoping it might be a BIT fun… you know, in a "you gotta do the work" sorta way, but that was NOT fun.  That was irritating, depressing, frustrating, and knock my head against a wall I’m not gonna put up with this…

So yea… hopefully this is NOT a disaster in the making.  I guess we’ll see.  She had a quiz… do as many multiplication tables as you can in a minute.  She asked me to PRINT OUT A TIMES TABLE SO SHE COULD USE IT ON THE TEST!!!!!  And then got snotty, WAY snotty when I told her there was no way I was doing that, she needs to do them from memory.  She doesn’t have them memorized!  5th grade, and she needs the table to do a TEST!  But really… it was the attitude, the snotty attitude that did me in.  If she’d just have TRIED, it would have been all right.  But she told me she wasn’t going to do it.  I ended up lecturing her (well, I THOUGHT I was having a conversation!)… and she said to me, "Are you done with the lecture yet?"  Again, really snotty. 
At that point, I just told her "I’ll see what I can do about putting you back in school."  I ended up not doing that, but crap… not going to be able to do this if she’s going to give me attitude all the time.  It’s just not going to work!  I can handle just about anything but that.  Well, the one other thing I can’t deal with is "I can’t" especially when she just did it, and she can.  It just drives me totally nutty when she tells me she can’t do stuff when I know she can, and she won’t even try.  Again, though, it’s not even trying. 

Okay, I’m just venting here.  But I really, truly hope this is not going to be a nightmare.  We’ll have to figure out a schedule, and then every day, do that schedule.  And it’s going to have to be the hardest stuff first, just to get it out of the way.  I mean, the only other thing she wanted to do was art.  And I was like, we can’t do art all the time Syd.  This is not all fun and games.  And I asked her why she needed an education, and her only answer was so she could be smart.  I told her that it was so she could get a good job.  That some jobs make you do a basic math test before you can get a job.  This was while I was "lecturing" her.  I told her that she wasn’t going to be allowed to grow up and be stupid.  I am really starting to wonder about the intelligence of the nation, because where she got the idea that it was okay to use her times tables on a test was from the elementary school!  She still doesn’t have them memorized, and the reason is because this entire time she’s been allowed to use her crutches, never commiting it to memory.  UGH, and this is what I have to counteract!  And of course, I do get tired of hearing "But that’s not how we did it in school!"  No, but this IS the way we’ll do it at home, and *I* am the teacher now.  Sigh… if I had started this years ago, then I’d probably not be dealing with some of this, because it would just be the way we’d always done it.  Becca did the same thing to me.  Shabree won’t though, because she’s not totally indoctrinated yet, lol… (I’m half kidding!)  Becca understands better now.  I do have to say though, that Syd has ALWAYS had a know-it-all attitude, and you could never ever tell her anything, not even as a little kid, so she’s always driven me batty with that.  There were times when I simply could have throttled her, because she just KNEW what she was saying was right.  One Feb, she told me there were NOT 29 days this month, Feb only has 28 days, and I bet her (and won) that there WERE 29 days.  She won’t check her facts, she won’t think that MAYBE as the parent you might, MIGHT be right… no, Syd has always known it all.  Syd must be God…because not even I will admit to knowing it all, but when I’m right, I’m right.  And I am very rarely wrong, because I simply won’t say I’m right unless I KNOW because I’ve double checked it.  I love Syd, but she and I candand do clash, and maybe she’s too much of a mirror for me, I don’t know, but I suspect so. 

Oh I’m SO tired.  I think I will go lay down for a little while, and just try to rest and maybe not think for awhile… let my rant and my frustration go…

Wish I could have gone to the library, but I have so many fines, and no money to pay them… I would happily pay them off and check out some book to read to distract myself.  Darn fines anyway.  Just when I’m finally getting to where I can keep track of my books and make sure they get back on time… I have kids who can’t.  Sigh.  Can’t win for losing on that one.  For a long time, I just quit going to the library because it was actually cheaper for me to buy my books at the used bookstore than to pay the fines I incurred for all my late books.  Maybe I need to start buying my books again… at least that way I own the books.  I just can read so many more getting them from the library.

Sigh (again)….