It’s NOT that late….

But I sure as heck AM that tired.  With getting up after sleeping 4 hours max, to feed Alex, my sleep schedule is ALL thrown off.  I’ve got to go get her in half an hour actually.  I took Sammi and Shabree to McDonald’s today for about 2 and a half hours, and left Alex at home napping, and I actually managed to get 5 pages done, though there was no journaling on any of them.  But 3 of them were Disneyland 50th anniversary layouts, on the trip with Linda, so they don’t really NEED journaling on each and every page. 

I had to restart the computer, or I was going to go crazy with the speed of this computer trying to keep up with my typing.  Ugh.  Now it’s fine.  I don’t know what hangs it up, but it usually happens after I’ve been on scrapping blogs downloading stuff.  So that’s probably it.  But even closing all the "offending" windows doesn’t speed things up.  Anyway, I don’t restart the computer often, so it probably needed it to clean up the memory and caches anyway.  The computer will go for an amazing amount of time without needing much of anything in the way of a restart.  It rarely freezes or runs into problems, though I’ve loaded so MUCH crap onto it that it may be time to scrub it clean… though I ALWAYS lose something when I do that.  Of course, I will then find that something on some disk I’ve got laying around… or some other computer.  But I gave Jerry my laptop, and I wiped it clean for him, so there’s nothing of mine on it really (maybe some pictures from my blackberry), and I haven’t backed anything up other than my pictures and a few digital kits from designers I really like, plus the TONS of Christmas stuff I will never be able to use all of.  So I probably need to really get in there and burn some more DVDs of all my digi stuff, even if I don’t wipe it off the hard drive.  I do keep most of it on the second hard drive anyway, which would not get wiped.  But then, I have all my journals for my scrapbooks, which I keep for reasons of posting the journaling of a page online, also so I’ll have SOME record of some of my writing…  though I wonder WHY exactly do I keep it for more than a few months?  Oh well, that stuff is actually quite piddly in comparison to the digi crap, MP3s, videos, and photos I keep on here.  I would have a very hard time throwing away the photos and videos… I have more photos than videos, but if not for keeping this stuff on various forms of media, I would probably have lost most of it long ago.  I used to keep copies on my computer at work, on my laptop, on my desktop, on my PC… on and on, lol.  Now… I have copies on my desktop, and on DVD, and that’s IT.  Oh, and some online… I do post some of my pics online for friends and family.  But nothing near the amount of pictures I have. 

Not sure if I mentioned, but someone stole my mom’s laptop.  Probably her "stepson" if you can call him that… man was 40 when my mom and his dad married, and he was raised by his grandma anyway.  Anyway, whoever stole it was a freaking idiot, because the computer was worth maybe 200 dollars, she’d had it for probably 7 or 8 years.  I just looked on Ebay, and the computer was worth MAYBE 400 dollars, MAX.  But probably more like 200… like I said, she’s had it awhile.  So anyway, I was trying to help her get the serial number yesterday, so I called Apple tech support, and the guy tells me he’s sorry for the loss, and I just told him "Eh, it was time for a new one anyway."  Still… the "stepson" is a jerk and he makes mom’s life miserable… however, the police went to pay him a visit, and arrested him on a drug charge.  HA.  He won’t see the light of day for quite awhile.  Good riddance.  So at her request, I found a refurbished macbook pro online for 1800 dollars, very nice, 700 off.  If she can’t locate the computer tomorrow, she’s going to buy this one, and I’ll have it sent to me.  Then I’ll load some software on it for her, and ship it onto her.  I told her, laughing, that it’s the cheapest tech support she’ll ever get.  LOL.  I offered to simply send her the CDs, but it’s just better if I load the computer up for her, and send her the computer.  I should load the last year’s worth of pictures of the kids on there for her too.  Just for fun.  Heck, she’s getting a 250 GB hard drive…she’ll HAVE room.  It’ll take me a bit though, but that’s all right.  I don’t mind.  I would rather she come GET her computer though.  Oh well.  I mean, she hasn’t seen Alex yet, and she’s missing out on a real sweet little baby.

Right after I got off the phone with mom, Linda called, and we had a short conversation.  I talked to her at length the other night, and she ended up having a triple bypass, but came out of it alive, so she’s thankful for that.  She said if they’d waited even another month to do the surgery, she would have died.  So tonight’s conversation was pretty simple, just about stuff… mostly my stuff this time.  When she is better, I’m going up there to help her clean up her scrap area, reorganize it so she can use it.  I’ve been meaning to for ages, but she’s just not been well for ages, and if she can’t sit there to tell me what to do with it all, there’s not much point in me going up there to do it for her.  And she can’t sit for long periods of time, and even if she could, she’s not really able to scrapbook right now anyway.  So… it’s all pretty pointless.  Right now anyway.  For years, I’ve been meaning to go up there and help her get a scrapbook of her life, because it’s always been by sheer will that’s she’s lived this long anyway, between the heart problems, and breast cancer.  Now that she doesn’t have a cat, I may just do that.  Before, I couldn’t really go because I would start wheezing and sneezing within minutes of walking into her apartment.  Anyway, her hubby put her on a timer tonight so we couldn’t talk long.  I’d really like to go see her though.  And maybe I can, though with only one car (and even with the cost of gas being what it is… ah hell… I’ll have to see what I can do.)

Hm… Sammi’s obviously still awake, but not very happy, not sure why, I can just hear her crying.  She needs to go to sleep.  I’m kind of hungry, and whoops, it’s time for me to wake the baby and feed her.  I think I might have gotten my second wind, though I’m still awfully tired.  I could probably sit here for another 20 minutes though.  I have been a bad diariest of lately with reading all my bookmarked people and noting, because when I get on the computer, I want to get my entry written, then I usually have to go run to do something else.  Even my late night computer time is being crunched, sigh.  I feel so… well, words cannot describe.  I feel like I get NO time to myself hardly at all.  I wrote two entries last night, and I ended up privatizing them both because they were just so angry and depressed and not really a side of me I want to show.  Not at all.  And it’s funny, because the one is OBVIOUSLY meant to b

e public, when I started it.  I talked about Alex’s doctor’s appointment yesterday… in greater detail than I went into this morning.  But as I’ve always said, my diary is for me, not for everyone, though I do appreciate those who read me.  I just don’t think everyone wants to see the negativity, especially that extreme.  It wasn’t just "life stuff" it was a rant.  Just life stuff, I share, and that’s fine.  I’m pretty much an open book.  But I was rather mad at Bec, and at myself…

Anyway, no excuses there… why do I always feel that need to explain myself?  Like it’s a necessary thing, when I probably don’t even need to say in the first place that I had these two entries, like nyah nyah… no.  They just aren’t a very pretty side of me… and while I do put myself out there… no one needs to see me THAT ugly.  
I’m going to post.  I feel the need to do something else.  Whatever that may be.