I *heart* breast feeding
Ah….
The bill collectors called, left a message, and like an IDIOT, I called back. So yea, quite a bit of anxiety there. I’m just going to start giving them the bk number and telling them to leave me alone. So anyway, I was pretty unhappy. Not depressed, not angry, just unhappy. I laid down with Alex, and within minutes, just felt it all melt away. So yea, another plus on the side of breast feeding, it’s a natural upper, even at 9 months. YAY for NINE months! Every month that passes now is just… icing on the cake. I don’t know that I ever thought I’d make it this far. Proud of myself.
I have a houseful of kids. They’ve all gone to the library except for Sammi and Alex, who are down for badly needed naps, especially on Sammi’s part. She went to sleep at 1 a.m. last night, woke up at 3, and didn’t go back to sleep til nearly 5 a.m. Then someone (probably Kristin) got her up at what, 8 this morning? Poor little girl, she’s SO SO tired! So crabby. So I put her to bed, which she was NOT happy about, but guess what? She’s asleep. Alex, I let sleep through the night. I didn’t think it would hurt her to do it… I won’t get into the habit of it.
I took a few pictures of the kids. Sydni is getting rotten about having hers taken, and I don’t like it one bit. But I guess if she wants a gap of how many years that she appears in the scrapbooks and on her family blog… so be it, I hate fighting with her about it, and I’m not going to do it. It’s not a battle I’m going to "win" ever. It’s got to be her choice. Becca too, honestly.
I wonder if there is a type of depression that happens when you simply don’t have enough sleep. Because I seem to suffer from it. I think SO much more clearly about things when I’ve had enough sleep. I re-read something I wrote last night, and I feel completely different about it in the light of day. It’s kind of weird. Though maybe I’m just looking at it differently. I don’t know. It just occurs to me that I seem… almost unhappier at night than I do during the day. My world is colored when I don’t get enough sleep, or am up too late. I don’t quite understand the whys and hows of it, but it is something that I guard against, though perhaps not hard enough? Question to ponder. I also have to wonder if it’s even worth the energy expenditure? Easier to simply go to bed when I’ve had enough. But then, if I’m sending out negative emails (this one wasn’t aimed at anyone in particular, just about Shabree’s birth experience…), I probably do need to guard against that negativity. Oh hell. Why is it that important to me? Why do I feel it necessary to be Merry Sunshine all the time? *rolls eyes* Give it a rest there honey… it’s really okay.
*Grins at self* Silly girl.
Hey, I got enough fodder today for a sleepover layout, whoohoo. I could use a few more good pictures, but I think all in all, I have enough to do a 2 pager on it.
I still haven’t located the Bazzill I need to finish this layout, and actually, I’m giving some thought to going to the store to get a different texture. I like the color… don’t care much for the texture, which is why I have almost a whole pack of this stuff left…which means I should really bite the bullet and use it up. It’s not God awful or anything… I just prefer other textures to this one. And I’d prefer to use a Doodlebug texture, since the color will probably match up better. Hm… there IS a thought.
I was talking to my OD buddy, Brandie about spending 1.75 on ONE sheet of paper (and mind you… I bought THREE), and I told her, I made two promises to myself. 1 was that I would take the money I was channeling into swaps, usually anywhere between 5 and 30 dollars (it’s not like I kept track), and channel it into pages instead, and 2, that I would spend the money it took to really make my pages look NICE. Swapping was fun… in a way, but it was SO expensive, and when I say 5-30, that does NOT account for shipping, which was often another 16. Add it up, and a swap could be upwards of 50 bucks. I doubt I EVER spent that much… but I couldn’t say for sure. I mean, I’d order paper for multiple swaps at once, and pay 4.50 for shipping that paper. I’d buy stickers for a buck 45 at my LSS, but have to get anywhere from 6-12 stickers, and then watch as I only used ONE sticker on a swap. So yea, huge waste of money to get someone else’s handmade stuff. Not that I cared, I had the money, what difference did it make? I got pleasure from constantly being under pressure to get swaps out, and when they came back, it was like Christmas. TOTALLY addictive. Now that I’m not doing it anymore…forced to quit, I can see how…unhealthy it was, how much of a time, money, and energy sucker it was, how I was always SO worried about my "reputation." that I couldn’t see how much BETTER everyone else’s stuff was from mine (because I was always trying to do it on the "cheap…" HA!) Though I could always come up with a shaker box, and titles were easy with the wishblade and fairly cheap, so those were what I mostly stuck to. I could do quality w/ either of those things. *smiles*
I just can do my pages so much less expensively, even when I blow 5 bucks on paper alone. And my aim is really to use the stash up anyway, and not go spending a lot on new stuff. So I may allow a bit there too, because NOT all my pages are going to be with the latest, greatest, "must have" products. HA again… I’m SO not trendy. And being that I tend to be "cheap" anyway… I wasn’t really paying attenton when I bought the paper… I just saw it, went "WOW" and took it up to buy it. It only occurred to me as I drove away how much I’d just spent… on paper and some brads. SO, I didn’t even know how much the paper was til I got home and checked the receipt. But in retrospect, I am still under "budget" for this month’s scrapping supplies, and I may have spent a THIRD of the budget on one page, but I just shrug my shoulders. It doesn’t really matter. Now, what DOES matter is that everything is a mess, and I can’t even complete this page because I can’t find the paper I need to finish it! GAH! It’s gonna look SO great when it’s finished. So freaking awesome. You’ll see, because I’ll post it. I’m super, duper proud of this layout. There is NO WAY I would have spent that kind of money for paper for a swap… and there again… I’m glad I’m done swapping, it’s a good thing. Shoot me if I ever start up again.
Unless of course, I’m like a multi-billionaire who could just burn her money and never touch what it took to keep the world spinning ;). Just kidding.
So, yea.
OMGosh, Karate BRADS!!! I’ve GOT to get these!!! Wonder if the LSS would order them for me? I am such a sucker for brads. A total sucker. I love how they look, I love what you can do with them on a page, I love, LOVE brad
s. And there’s not much out there for Karate, so these will be wonderful to have. Whoohoo.
Yea… does NOT take much to excite me.
I am going to put down the keyboard (did that make ANY sense? Any?) and get to getting. Cleaning, that is. I am going to find that paper so I might finish up this wonderful layout.
Nine months is awesome.
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You are the scrap booking GODNESS!!!!!! I’m more of a glue things on the page kinda gal.
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That’s one of my problems, too. Lots of the books I do are for gifts so it’s really, really important for me to make sure the things in them are good quality. Even the little striped brads I used in the wedding book the other night were like a tiny box of 20 of them that cost me 8 dollars. So, I need to sit down and decide if I’m going to spend more and buy less or how I’m going to work that.
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