2/13/09
I went to the doctor this morning. I got to have the PA in training again, whom I really like a lot. She’s very nice. They’re not sure they want to re-rescribe the Reglan. I don’t really know what I’ll do if I have another supply drop. I think I will just hang on to the Dom, and what Reglan I have left for when/if that happens. Hopefully it won’t. Hopefully I can simply keep it up. I’ll have to be much more careful. I will also have to be waking up the baby in the night to nurse, if she doesn’t wake up. This whole nursing thing sure is a lot of work! Very rewarding, but a LOT of work. It’s okay that it’s a lot of work. I just have a hard time sometimes keeping it up. And I don’t seem to have the type of supply that will put up with that. So. Either I am better, more conscious about this… or I give it up. Or I find whatever middle ground I can live with. Honestly… I’m too tired to really think about it right now.
As far as my hands go, they’re going to go ahead and refer me to a dermatologist. They’re bad, really bad. I think I needed to see a specialist before they got this bad. Oh well, it’s partially my fault anyway. I should have gone in sooner.
Going to the doctor kinda leaves me a little down. I never quite get the result I want, and I don’t understand why that is. I LIKE this office, but shoot, when I know something works for me, it’d be nice to just ask and receive. Well, honestly though… they don’t like to prescribe meds. They’re not totally against them, but they like to let viruses run their course, etc. I agree with that. Though when your kids are throwing up, it’d be nice to get some Phenagren to make them feel better, and they don’t want to prescribe that either… thankfully, it only lasted a day. So it wasn’t such a big deal. Poor babies. I think Alex got it first…remember a couple weeks ago when I was talking about her throwing up? I could be wrong, it seemed to last about 3 days in her. And then the other girls all got it within days of each other, starting with Sammi. So I don’t know. I am just glad it didn’t last very long. Anyway, I don’t think they’re going to give me any more Reglan, even though I only take it for about 3 days, then stop. Boost the supply, get off the meds.
I really am rambling quite badly. I am really tired. I just checked on Alex, and she’s asleep. Yay. I’m just going to do a 5 minute pump. I spoke w/ the LC at WIC, and she felt I was relying on the technology too much. I read a bunch of stuff on Dr Jack Newman’s web site, he has a breast feeding clinic at a University in Canada, and is quite renown, and I guess many women have gotten help from his office (maybe I could get Dom or Reglan from him??? God, how sneaky of me… but I will do almost anything to keep this thing going. Including coming up with 50 dollars to get another supply of Dom, if it comes down to it…) Anyway, Dr Newman was basically saying the same thing, that a pump does NOT replace baby, and should not be relied upon. I am relying on it too much to fill the gaps.
Hey, it’s hailing. Wow. Must be cold out there if it’s hailing.
I’ve noticed something else… I’ve been feeling kind of stressed, and just reaching for the candy, cookies, soda and anything sweet I can get my hands on. I feel nervous, edgy, and caged. Stuck between the clichéd rock and hard place. And I am just really tired of watching myself be such a lazy… whatever.
On the other hand, I NEVER feel like I get enough "me" time. The girls will all be home in 20 or 30 minutes, including Kristin, whom *I* invited over. That’ll be all right, she’ll probably take Alex off my hands so she can play with her. She loves taking care of the baby. They’re going to call for a ride… it’s too bad I can’t do that for them, but Jerry still isn’t home, not that I expected him to be. I wonder if he told Becca so she won’t be waiting around for a ride? I feel like I am always busy, and yet, do nothing. How is that possible? My kitchen is a mess because I can’t "do" water or soap until I get my hands fixed, I haven’t made dinner in days…well, I "made" ribs in the microwave the other night, lol. We haven’t had dinner together in a long time. I think we’re going to do leftovers tonight. That’ll be all right, it’s a beef roast we’re doing the leftovers off of. Jerry made it, and it’s delicious. I DID do some laundry, and I’ve spent major amounts of time with Sammi and Alex, feeding, playing, bathing (Alex has had two baths in the last couple of days, and I was okay with it! Yay… I have gotten such a phobia about baths…) I opened up all the windows in my room today, and got some really great pictures, no flash. Some days I worry that I take too many pictures of Alex, and the flash isn’t good for her. Sammi is ALWAYS trying to wrestle the camera from me so she can take pictures. I don’t mind, but boy, when I want that camera, it can be quite a fight, lol…. I’m so glad I bought a shockproof camera. It was a good investment when it comes down to it.
Ugh… I just put my hand on my forehead, and I’ve got a major zit there. Now what I want to know is HOW at the age of 38, can I STILL be getting zits? GAH, how… hormonal of me!
Well, I wonder if I should go do something else… though what? LOL, I just looked at my trimmer and it occured to me that I keep meaning to scrapbook, and I just haven’t… I just don’t, unless I go to McDonald’s. I hope I get some answers soon on Alex… I was reminded of this because I was wishing that she would start walking so she could play at McDonald’s too, and I could scrap rather uninterrupted. Wouldn’t that be nice? I sure hope she doesn’t have a whole bunch of challenges in life.
That reminds me, the early intervention people STILL haven’t called me back, darn it!!! Grrr. What the heck is up with that? Well, I suppose the state cuts might have something to do with it. I just checked the caller ID and they definitely haven’t called… last call was the LC.
I paid the SMUD and Comcast bills today. I sure hope Jerry likes this job and is able to make money from it… then we can put some of these bills on auto pay and not have to worry about them. Now THAT would be nice. We’ve never ever done autopay because of the risk that there just wouldn’t be money in the account on the day it went through. It’s happened before, even when we had money it’s happened. It’s a pain, that’s for sure.
I’m going to get going… girls should be home any minute now. I want to have this wrapped up when they get here.
