Of SOME concern *Edit*

Yesterday I made my entry private.  I did that because I was writing about Alex’s doctor’s appointment that was today, and about my concerns.  Well, then as I began to do some research, I thought, I am being AWFULLY paranoid, and making a mountain out of a molehill.  Well, I may not be doing that after all.  I will unprivatize yesterday’s entry and you should really read it.  It IS long, and it is a bit of a babble, but you’ll get the idea of what I was going through and I can make this entry shorter as a result.  Go read it and come back.

Okay, now that you’re caught up, they’re going to send her to an eye doctor, and possibly a neurologist.  I met with a student PA (physician’s assistant) and then the PA, the student basically got to do the "intake" herself, and then we went over it again with the PA.  She says that Alex is definitely on the outside of the curve with the sitting up.  She can sit unassisted… sort of.  It’s so short.  They did comment how strong she is.  I mean, it’s SO hard to know if there is a problem, because there is so much she CAN do.  Anyway, they’re going to consult with Dr Vails, and decide if they want to send us to both concurrently, or wait to see what the eye doctor finds before consulting with a neurologist.  It could just be a muscular thing, where the eye jiggles due to the muscle, which I do not believe, from what I’ve read, is correctable at this point in time.  She just gets to live with it and adapt.  So, that she can probably do.  It won’t affect her life much, if at all, especially since she’s had it since she was a baby.  I only noticed it a month ago because someone else pointed it out.  You can BARELY see it.  However, it could be, as I said, neurological, and if so, it may very well be linked to her physical issues.  Her physical issues could just be a result of not getting enough tummy time, not enough sitting time.  But lately, I’ve been trying to give her plenty of both.

I’ve got to go soon, I’m going to watch Medium… missed Heroes darn it. 

Also, however, over the last three months, she’s only gained 12 ounces in weight.  I’m in a bit of a panic over that, actually.  But the PA said it was fine, she’s not concerned.  But we’ll talk about it at her well baby exam in two weeks.  So I will wait patiently.  I think I WILL change one thing though, and that’s to get her up earlier in the morning so she’s not sleeping 12 hours, and feed her first thing, without pumping first.  Or I WILL pump, and then I’ll give her that bottle. 

Oh, I had someone offer to send me some more Domperidone, but I will write about that later, I really want to do a quick pump before Medium comes on, and I want to check on Alex.

*Begin edit*

I doubt that anyone has even read this yet, but I’ll do that anyway, just in case.  I’m tring to pump at the same time as I write, so this may be tricky.  I’m trying to do a power pump, which is generally just a whole lot of pumping in a short span of time.  It gives you more milk hopefully, and increases the overall amount you make.  I just don’t do them often enough.  And I sleep too long.  What I’m really going to have to do is wake up at least once after 4 hours and do a pumping session.  So anyway, I had written an email to my MOBI group talking about how expensive DOM is (about 50 dollars a month, for 300 tablets, which is a BEGINNING dosage!  Yikes!)  and someone offered me off list her extra Dom since she is no longer nursing.  So I’m happy about that.  I was just wishing this morning that I had a way of getting some, practically begging the Universe to send some.  I guess the Universe responded.  I will see if I can find a compounding pharmacy in my area that takes Medi-CAL, I found one, but they don’t.  I just cannot justify spending 50 dollars to increase my milk supply, when WIC will pay for formula.  Okay, I want to continue nursing, but I have to be practical. 

My dear, darling husband brougth me some mint chocolate chip ice cream covered in magic shell (my favorite), nuts and whipped cream.  God, I love him! 

Okay, done pumping for now.  Now to apply heat.  I guess the question for me to myself is, do I want to try a crazy schedule of pumping and nursing to bring my supply up?  I mean, I’ll have to see how it works, but with her being on solids… well, obviously to me, she’s not been gaining enough.  I can’t decide whether to wake her up earlier in the morning and then get her a second nap, or to do a nighttime feed while she sleeps.  Maybe both?  Jerry says she’d wake up if she were hungry, but it seems to me like we just need to push her a bit.  The nice thing about the nighttime feeding plan is that it doesn’t really require waking her up at all.  Just stick a bottle in her mouth, and let her sleepily take it and then when she’s done, fall back to sleep.  It gets an extra feeding in and I can still have that little bit of time to myself.  The whole not able to sleep next to each other thing really interferes with keeping the breast feeding thing going.  I mean, she just won’t fall asleep hardly at all as long as I am there, and even when she does, if I leave, she wakes right back up.  I mean, she’ll nurse lazily for 30 minutes, and I’ll try to take her off and make my escape, and WAH.  And this whole thing of not letting ANYONE else hold her so long as I am in the room… sucks.  I brought it up with the PAs as well.  It’s fairly normal, though not dad… hell, he just doesn’t spend quite enough time with her.  Sigh, this whole him working 15 hours a day is NOT working for ME.  He may go in a slightly different direction, one that ties into what we were doing before, and I THINK it might be good… though sadly, only as long as this economy stinks.  Doesn’t seem QUITE right to make a profit on that.  But it actually keeps people in their homes, so I guess it’s probably not that bad either.  I guess we’ll see.  Jerry told me he wouldn’t do this if he didn’t think it would work eventually… but some days I wonder, how long is eventually?  Anyway, I tell him it’s been a very long time.  He feels that there is too much of it out of his control, and if he could get that control, the deals would close.  I can only believe what he says, because I don’t quite understand what he’s doing.  It just seems to me, that if it could be done, he would have done it AGES ago.  So I kind of hope he’ll do something that’s more likely to have a paycheck attached to it.  But as always, I’m going to support whatever he decides to do.  So long as it’s not TOO insane.  Some days I wonder about this, but I can live with it…

Well, I think I’m about done.  My hands HURT.  I went ahead and made an appointment for myself about them, because I can barely stand it.  For every step forward, it feels like I take two steps back, and it sucks.  I’m tired of having my life compromized by my hands.  Some days I can’t even bring groceries in, because it hurts so much.  No dishes, hell, even taking a shower is as

king for trouble with them.  SUCKS.  So hopefully they can do something different, OR get me to a specialist so I can have some relief.  So, I’m done with this entry.  For now, lol.  But tomorrow is another day *wink*